A case for Responsibility

Today, I take the time to write to the Red Pill community in order make a point. My main idea is to place an emphasis on responsibility as one of the most crucial and core virtues which defines Man.

As this forum states on the front page: The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.

I want to emphasize on "Lacking a positive identity for men"

I've been a member of this group for maybe 5 or 6 months, and reading about masculinity on and off for 5 years.

The Red Pill is a strong vessel. For me it shines a bright light for the future. I believe it is in everyone’s most benefit to steer it towards an ideal; an ideal which should be continuously built upon, which again, is already being done within this community.

However, I too often see in the minds of people here a sense of self-gratification/short-sightedness as the main code being promoted and lived by. I don't think this is right. We need to look long-term, and not be in a perpetual pre-adult state; to fully tackle the idea of entering adulthood as a mature and responsible member of society. A Man is defined as being able to plan ahead, he is the responsible one.

Of course, we have people who are all at different stages in this community; and this is why there are so many different waves of ideas hitting us left and right.

Masculinity = Responsibility After looking actively for Manhood for so many years; the word for me that comes out the most is Responsibility. Is this not what a Man should be about? If you are not this, you are simply a rebel, acting at the detriment of society. I see many men who are out there only for themselves. Sure, do not become a selfless guy; but do realize that we cannot maintain ourselves as a people if we are only acting out of our navel. Alfred Adler spoke of the inferiority and superiority complex; and within it, he shows that a well-balanced individual will be working towards the benefit of his community, not as a little king only out there to show he is the best.

Aim high I've read much from the philosophical and religious body of India. And one speaker I once listened too, which I unfortunately forgot the name had said: "Our task is to build civilizations". This is a worthy goal.

Humility Humility for most people is an outdated virtue. To be humble is not necessarily a quality people seek. I sought it, I seek it. Humility destroys all arrogance, and boy is there arrogance within the minds of the North American people, Men and Women. Arrogance serves no good, it is a shield which prevents you from sincerely connecting with other individuals. Humility is a tough path, and do believe me on that, for it asks for you to take some of the violence that society inflects on you and not react impulsively to it.

Integrity Your own integrity as a person will be a beacon for others and you will be respected for that. By doing such, you become a Pillar for others and society. And, is that not what Man is supposed to be? This is not to say to openly accept the violence that others commit, but your point should be not to add any more violence of your own to the world; and that when violence occurs towards you, to reflect enough on it, and then act in an adult fashion which will in turn stop from happening again.

Maturity Of course, acting in a mature way is not as easy as it sounds. But you must make as many victories as you can, as small as they are. Keep building one block at a time, and then eventually you realize the tremendous power you have to impact other peoples lives for the better. If an injustice occurs, you do not cower away from it, you embrace it and take it on your own to resolve it. As you do this, it all becomes very easy and natural.

Do not be a pessimistic - Move Forward I see too many people who are hopeless in sight of the world. They say "What can I do?". You can do so much by being a model for others. Be certain, initially you will not be recognized for doing such, you may be scorned, ridiculed, disliked, ostracized, despised; though with time, a strong and authentic character will arise from within you. People will then respect your advice when you have to give it, you will see change happen around you, just by being there. And all of this is done with humility, not with arrogance nor a maladjusted pride. You do not seek pride.

Learn when you need to learn You must pay your dues, recognize higher forms of being (More mature individuals), be humble towards them, listen to them. Leave when need be.

Core Virtues Initially, I built my foundation from the virtues given by Socrates: Wisdom, Justice, Courage and Temperance. This is good stuff brother, you should learn about it. Take the time to study a virtue. Get 1 book about it, and then practice it. Slowly have this become you, slowly have it become your own rule. Have consistency, Integrity. Even when certain situations would be tempting, temptation is short-lived, to be reserved is long-lived and very gratifying.

More Virtues Out of my own adventure into life; 3 virtues now establish me: Humanity, Manhood and Authenticity. By humanity I encompass 3 other virtues: Compassion, Cooperation and Communication. Let it be known, Compassion is a powerful force for change, for good, it is what all ancient religions preach as the virtue to heal the world. You should be able to make the distinction between Apathy, Sympathy, Empathy and Compassion. There is a whole world between each.

Be Thankful Have appreciation and gratefulness, it's a wonderful sight to have these qualities within yourself.

Learn and Apply Please, do not become those people who study all these practices and who never incarnate them inside themselves. Be this change, be this movement.

Learn Meditation Western people are highly dominated by the Mind, it's presence is so strong in their lives, people's personal stories are too strong. You need to go down in your body, you need to take control over your mind, otherwise you remain a childish and an immature human. This is hard work. This is very similar to body-building where it takes much time to have a stunning stature. Cultivating a peaceful and meditative mind takes years, and initially it is one of the hardest thing. Understand that this process is ever-rewarding, you will continually enter into new states of mind which deepen your understanding of the world. How can this not be fulfilling?

An example with my woman Just last week, my woman told me "I love that you give me rules", I asked her "Why exactly? Give me more details"; she then replied "Because it shows that you care for me, and it gives me a direction for me to become the ideal woman for you"... What more can I ask? And I know she is making the efforts to become this person I need as a lover, partner, wife, mother. I need her to balance herself in life, I need to have forethought. She tells me that she enjoys surrendering her thoughts to my own, meaning I am the one absolutely directing our couple, she has much trust in my decision-making abilities that she is willing to give herself entirely to me. Why is that you may ask? Because I have been responsible for the past 7 years, because I have done the work, because I've wanted this, because I've thought long-term, because I trust that life will be great, because I am learning from everything, because I never give up, because I want to be a mature individual, because I want the people around me, society and myself to prosper. I become this agent of change in my own personal life, if I don't, no one else will do it for me.

Temptation Temptation for other women still lurks, but again, I balance myself with looking into how solid of a future I can establish with her; this brings much joy to me. For I know that I can rely on her and her on me, our kids will grow up in a healthy household with 2 parents which have clear understanding of each other and the world.

A return to compassion Remember the virtues listed above? Do you think Compassion ever ceases? It doesn't, it keeps expanding, expanding and expanding. Everyday I am rewarded with new insights into my own life, and this is so joyful. To be able to sit down under a tree and feel relaxed, blessed, joyful, refreshed by just looking at the leaves moving, the kids running around, the trees around me. Is this not paradise?

Have Persistence Paradise must be built, it requires hard work, and it has it's tough days, trust me on that. Though I take the pain with hope and much courage for I always know that I will overcome and I will come out a stronger and firmer individual.

A traditional role of Masculinity with the understanding of women I am seeking to re-establish a more traditional role of masculinity within myself, one which does not deny woman, but fully embraces her within my own heart. Her sensibility, her insight, her joy, her vulnerability, her sensuality, even her childishness, all of this I desire, for it is also within me, it completes me.

Aim to have Character And if I am not this authentic, mature and responsible individual, I will loose myself, this woman and all the rest. It is a thriving that is there just for itself, what else is there to do in life? I am not pursing to be rich, have a huge mansion, if these things come, they will come. My character which is formed and backed by my strong beliefs is determining my life.

Begin right now, consistency is key Understand that even though your current workplace might suck, bring a strong work ethic. This you can take with you wherever you go. Today is the right time to improve your method, your approach, and this is something you can build upon. The best investment you can make is on yourself, become great. Of course, this is not done under a week, it takes years and years. Consistency will reward you, believe me on that.

Face the inevitable I am still a young man, I had no choice to take such a path. It was either this, or fail miserably and be stuck under financial debt, drugs, negative people. The pressure became intense for me to act, and so I did, it brought me here today. I would not change a thing, it thought me so much, it gave me so much. I've learned to accept who I am. I corrected and worked on what I disliked; it was painful, I was fearful, it was dreadful, but I had to do it.

Overcome your limitations All of these negative elements that are part of your life, overcome. These internal malfunctions, overcome. All these negative aspects which you can feel or see within you are malfunctions, face them, overcome them, they will disappear, I swear I swear. Do the fucking work, just fucking do it.

Understand your deep internal self And how do you tackle such an enormous task? Lets take one example: Fear!!! Fear in most circumstances is irrational. If you fear a certain situation; you need to stop running away from it or acting brashly. In your own time, when you are alone, or lying on your bed at night, look at this situation and stay there. Seriously, in your mind's eye, look at the situation. Of course, this will be uncomfortable, but keep repeating this inside of you.

Learn from your emotions and grow through them Eventually, you will desensitize yourself from the feeling. The situation will also take another form, then you will be able to correct in real life the situation by acting in an harmonious way. You need to keep doing this process over and over again on Fear, eventually you will be impervious to it, fear will occur, but you will have had the emotional experience over it.

Having a serene state of mind is a choice You know, we study a certain topic, mental information, knowledge. Certain people become very proficient in one topic. This is great, bless them! Understand that you can learn about your emotions and become a master over them, and why should you not. This is at the centre of your life. Buddhist have been doing this for more than 2000 years now, look how serene they are. This is one of their secrets. You need to master your emotions. aim for a state of calm, even better: serenity. Make it a goal. Find out how to do so...

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This is about to finish.

Here are a few books I would recommend which are in line with the thought pattern I have. I also strongly recommend you all to get a good understanding of how conversations work, knowing all of this can prevent so much misunderstanding and troubles from occurring; hence many recommendations on this very topic.

Henry Cloud - Boundaries Frame control, and not allowing people to mistreat you.

Roy U. Schenk and John Everingham - Breaking the Shackles Excellent book on unmasking and overcoming shame; there are over 20 authors who wrote in this book, all Men and all part of the "Men's" movement.

Kerry Patterson - Crucial Conversations This book will teach you how to tackle difficult situations with people and finding the right moment to act

Marshall B. Rosenberg - Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life Gives you insight into 2 modes of communication; one of the Giraffe and Jackle - Powerful

Dorothy Leeds - The 7 Powers of Questions Learn how to stay strong in conversations

Patanjali - The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali Foundational book on Hindu way of thinking, a classic

And a special mention for books by: Jiddu Krishnamurti Jiddu Krishnamurti is something else. Jiddu Krishnamurti is the Red Pill of spirituality. If you're ready to completely change your perception of reality, read any books by this Man, they are all discourses hes given over his lifetime.

And two more powerful books worth mentioning:

Ralph Waldo Emerson - Self Reliance

John Stuart Mill - On Liberty

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Peace and Take

tldr: Responsibility as crucial for being a fully mature Man. / My personal outlook on life related with the Red Pill community.