This time last year at age 19 I was a 'blue piller' despite having learned the basics of PUA and using them to my advantage. I fucked plenty of random girls but still got held up by certain clever manipulative girls who were masters of playing games and leeching from me. I became emotionally subservient to them without them even realizing the damage these girls were causing. I want a fulfilling relationship but the venues by which modern males are taught to achieve those are skewed and simply do not work. My pursuits made me unhappy despite the fact that I live a life I'm proud of. I was still in some sort of beta-alpha limbo trap, and it took a year to get fully out of it.

It took a bit of a relapse into beta mode and a string of a few more pedestal bullshit relationships. I keep learning each time, and I've had this summer to reevaluate the purpose of sex and relationships. Thankfully I stumbled upon TRP. I've finally found what I've been looking for. I used Seddit for a while but after finding this community I've realized Seddit uses techniques that work but continues to repressively puts women on a pedestal. There are great women out there who are being held up by the perversion of modern gender roles. The alpha males (a group which I now proudly consider myself a member of) can decide whatever the fuck we want to do. Individual happiness and success are the goals and the only reasons ideas like 'soulmate' and 'dream woman' exist. These terms are falsities. They're pipe-dreams. We are responsible for how satisfied we are with our lives. If I work hard, build my life how I want to and live a fulfilling existence I am deeply proud of, any women who decide to tag along should feel privileged for the opportunity to do so.

I do not want any women in my life who do not improve my life. I treat friends the same way. It's ridiculous how easy it can be to relapse from this thinking. It usually stems back to sex drive. I'd have sex with a beautiful woman and get too attached to the point where it sabotaged what I was trying to do in the first place: enjoy myself.

Not anymore. This post is mostly just for me to get my thoughts in order, but thank you Redpillers. I've found both a community and framework for thinking that has already made me a better man and will continue to improve my life as I progress through it. Long live the alpha male. Always be improving.