I'm 22y guy from Croatia, SMV (hard 8)( 6ft/182cm, 200lbs/90kg, gym junkie 7 y, brownish skinn-exotic for my country) and been aware of the game for about 2 years. I've followed some purple pill guys and got some pathetic results. In the beginning of this year I've found about red pill. I don't know anyone who is red pill in real life, I cannot talk about it with anyone and I feel so f*cking alone, every day I consume some red pill material so I don't revert completly to my blue pill ideals... If your advice is to man the f*ck up. Ignore this post. I'm not here to wine and talk about my life but to give you basic information about myself in hope somone could help me. English is my second languge, so there will be mistakes.

Had been mental masturbating (learning concepts and reading for 2 years about, pickup, inner game,evolution, evolution psycholgy,psychollogy, mastery, spitituality, sexuallity...about 40 books). But after I've come to red pill I finally forced myself to approach. I go out alone as I've found out that other guys just do more harm than good when I take someone with me.

It is really hard for me not knowing anyone going to clubs by myself and approaching at the beach, trying this stuff out. I'm in a dry spell for 1.5 y, been very close few times and hooked up once. I look good but am introverted and only leave appartment to go shopping, to go to gym or university. I have real problem with my porn addiction as I am from generation that has watched porn for my whole teenage life, I know it takes away my drive to go out and sociolize and managed to reduce it as much as I could and working on that.

This night I was at the clubs and my game is better than most of guys here (I am relaxed and not needy,dominant, but nothing specialy good as guys here are pathetic), and I get lot of eye conntact so my opens are easy ( dancing opens) but I rarely get much further than 1 minute of dancing, I know I should lead but cannot keep it for long.( I'm on vacation here for a month and decided to improve as much as I can in this time, it is unknown enviroment to my and I don't know anyone.) First minute opened Hb9 in the club danced for a 1 min ( she was pleasantly supprised as guys are just dancing next to them and do not open), her frined cockblocked me, and then I left. Opened few more less hot girls, same thing, 60-80% of girls allow me to spin open them.

Then run into girl (I hooked up last summer) in front of a club, (I told her before that I would call her when I was in her area but never did), we talked for a bit (I don't want to do anything with her as she was 5 and i was desperate at the time), told her I'll see you around, and she said I don't think so, then I replied -who gives a f*uck. But that interaction derailed me, I returned to club and see Hb 9 I first approached and her friend dancing and 3 guys dancing close to them in hopes of girls interacting with them. Made a circle around the club approching and come to see guy taking Hb 9 number, I know there is 90% chance that it will lead him nowhere(as his looks is 6-7 doesn't know for game) but it pushed me over the edge.

I felt so aggressive that I wanted to fight and hurt badly anyone from this people I mentioned, I know it is sexuall frustration, but it tooked over me as I know if i have been better at game that I could easily took the girl and not give fuck what other one said to me. My inner game collapsed, for 5 hours now im in such depressive-aggressive state and feeling of that helplessness is driving me insane , that it will take me a lot of time of shit like that happening before I get good. I know I women do as they are programmed and I hate them for being that dumb, I know that if they weren't that way and followed their emotions our species wouldn't survive and I should just acceot things as they are. I hate that I am so alone and there is no one red pill that I can talk too. I know logically what things are and how it will play out and that red pill game is the only way but I'm in so much emotional pain and anger (I think this is what pushed mass shooters ) . Can you give me some advice I'm desperate.