I already did many FR's, though I call them breakdowns, most of them in german. I made the effort to type out a few in english, so here goes my first ever FR on TRP:
24.02.2017:
Day 2 of carnival in Germany in Cologne, the place to go to for carnival. We head out at about afternoon. We arrive at the Zülpicher Platz, which has bars, restaurants and club for days specifically being set up for carnival. When we go there, we are already pretty much the only people dressed up in costumes. Then, when we get there, it’s pretty much empty, most places are even closed still. All right, different than what we expected. We go to some burger place and I order fries. A hottie waitress takes my order. When she gets to my order, she asks me „ketchup or mayo?“ - my brain is in no social mood, almost blank, and so I shout out confidently what I want, without realising a mistake. She asks again, I ask myself „The hell? My voice never has been a problem, but maybe she just didn’t hear it for whatever reason“ and I shout again. She asks again and starts to smile, apparently something is really funny here. I don’t get it. Only now does my brain catch up: Instead of shouting „Ketchup!“ I screamed „FRIES!“ as if I want fries with my fries. I realise my mistake, laugh about it, my buddies laugh, some random people laugh, she laughs and I laughingly say „Ketchup! I want ketchup.“ She hands me the fries with ketchup, we go to some table to sit down and eat. There I am facing the counter and am minding my own business, not even really caring about what’s going on, because I really freaking love fries. I’m focused on the fries, the ketchup, the unhealthy fats and the salt and whatnot that makes it so delicious. In my peripherals I see something that I didn’t expect to experience: She was not just looking at our direction, but specifically at me. (+) Just short glances, but I noticed it. Now mind you, at this point I’ve only been gaming for 3 months, so this is pretty new to me: a hottie waitress checking me out and giving me IOI’s. She has millions of dudes coming in and I grab her attention? Must have been the funny situation beforehand (1). She keeps checking me out every now and then and I tell my buddies „I’m gonna ask her out“ They laugh about it, but at this point, my inner game is on point at this stage already. One buddy even says „If you get her number, I’ll pay you 20 bucks“, I just say ok, because in my mind this is already happening. As we stand up, I feel a huge surge of nervousness. Not really fear, but nervousness. It’s exhilarating, it makes me feel alive, I think to myself „despite this feeling, I still know I’m going to push for it, no matter what my body tells me“. So I walk up the counter and start some small talk, the other waitress asks „So, are you flirting with her? With me?“ „Why not both?“ They laugh. Finally I ask „So, I’m not going to be around much longer, we should go out in the next few days“ „Ah no, my husband wouldn’t like it“ „Kay“ and I eject. (+) One of my buddies, who stayed, laughed at this and told my other buddies about it. I had fun. They couldn’t believe it, but this is my new self. This is who I want to be.
We go down the Zülpicher and finally find a bar that’s open and looks like fun. I don’t waste a lot of time and talk to a girl next to us. We have a good convo going for 5 or so minutes, nothing really sexual, but she boxed out her friends and is facing me. I don’t find her that attractive and allow her to get integrated back into her group. (2) I look around, people are already in a good mood. I go to the toilet, see two really cute girls on my way there. I almost don’t open them, but they see something about my costume and look at me, which is invitation enough for me to go up to them and talk. They are from some Spanish speaking country, we have some good laughs, but my brain dries up and I don’t know what to say next, so I pat them on their shoulders and say „All right, see you later“. After I get back from the toilet, my other buddy, who’s a pretty good natural (let’s call him PGN - „Pretty Good Natural“) talks with two other chicks there. They are absolutely not my type, but I still engage with them a little. Then they start dancing around in a circle, I’m like „I’m going to join!“ and we start jumping around in a circle. Out on a whim, I grab the girl’s shoulders in front of me, the girl behind me grabs my shoulders and the girl in front of me decides to just walk around with our mini conga-line. I think „THAT’S AWESOME“ and pat people on their shoulders and tell them „Come on, join!“. I’m not even looking if they actually join. We walk around the entire bar and after a minute or two I see his huge line forming from my peripheral vision. After another minute or two of this, we have almost the entire bar with us, and then it dissolves. That was mad fun. (+) I’m in a super hyped up mood and talk with more girls. Then I start to lose my momentum, because after all, this bar isn’t very big and doesn’t have a lot of traffic. I look outside, see some girls and 1 or 2 dudes. I’m in my head for a couple of minutes but then just go „Screw it, I’m going in“. I open them and they give me some good energy. (+) Not so bad after all, but this set sort of dissolves. I go back in and see some girls dressed in pantomime costumes, with fitting make up. I just walk up to them and throw them some line and we get talking. (+) We laugh, they paint my face, good energy. Girls of their group keep coming and going, until a real cutie comes. I shift my focus on her and we end up talking and hanging around in the bar and outside - which is good, because at this point, I wasn’t even doing it consciously, but moving a girl around is raising her compliance level. I touch her here and there and at some point I see that she’s in a sort of trance. She just listens to my voice, gives me somewhat elaborate answers and is almost fazed out. She doesn’t mind me standing real close and coming closer, until... „Hey, come check out this dude, it’s the guy with the giant penis costume!“ and a friend of hers drags her away to this guy. She immediately starts to get touchy with him, even embraces his face, and then something amazing happens: This dude was calibrated as hell and realised the energy and the signs she was giving him were very clear. He grabs her head and within 30 seconds of they both seeing each other for the first time, he makes out with her. I’m mad for a second, but this is so beautiful to look at, that my anger dissolves into amazement, admiration and inspiration. I’m seeing a natural here in action. The way he carries himself, the way he talks teasingly and cocky with the girls, the way he’s the center of attention, everything screams of high level natural - or maybe he even learned the game, who knows. Rather than anger, I feel a resolve in me coming up. „I’m going to get to his level. I’ve seen it happen right in front of my eyes. Why shouldn’t I be the guy?“. Granted, I already had a resolve to become really good at pickup, but here I’m seeing a real life example of how it looks like. The buddy who made the bet with me earlier (BB - Bet Buddy) comes up to me „Aren’t you mad? This isn’t nice of him. That’s not how you treat a girl“. He doesn’t really understand female nature and their psyche, so I’m not mad at him for having a skewed view of reality, I just comfort him with „This guy is awesome, he’s really good with girls“.
After this, my approaches go to an almost zero level. There is another girl in the pantomime group that looks good, so I start to hang out with her and get physical quick. She doesn’t mind and actually reciprocates. At some point I jokingly try to go for a kiss, while she was making a photo with me, kissing my cheek. I just turn around and aim for the real kiss, but she realises this and backs off, laughing. As I find out later from one of her friends: she has a boyfriend. All right, so that’s what’s hindering her. This is where I realised what Tyler talks about: There are 5 responses a woman can give you: 1) A blow off 2) a neutral response 3) attraction that leads nowhere 4) attraction and a number 5) attraction that can lead to sex. She was a 3 (now referenced as 3-girl) and getting a reference experience of a girl that’s a 3, maybe even a 4 was a real eye opener to me. Nonetheless, not only does she keep hanging out with me, but also keeps touching me. I see some girl on the street walking by and open her, mentioning her costume. (+) The way she was walking, she didn’t seem like the friendly type, but as I opened her, she was all rainbows and sunshine. Another important reference experience here. You never know, until you actually open. (3) I think the fact I had a girl in my arm made this thing even easier and spiked her openness to me even more (social proof). (4) I disengage from the whole set, because I got bored, plus they had some random dudes now to entertain them. I go back to the bar to the other pantomimes, they all smile and give me really good energy, even though I expected absolutely nothing in the first place. To quote my spiritual mentor Russell Simmons: Needing nothing means attracting everything. The 3-girl comes back, both the stranger dudes, do, too, though to me it’s already obvious none of them want anything to do with these two dudes. I can feel their tryhard, 1%-needy energy, which is already too much for the girls.
The 3-girl drags me and her friend to another bar across the street. I think „sweet, I don’t even have to lead“ and when we get there, they just start dancing, and I do too. Somehow, they integrate another 3 or 4-set of dancing girls. One of them is a really cute redhead and not only that, but I can see she’s totally into me. All the other girls also check me out constantly. Only recently I realised why: The other two girls must have been huge social proof, so the new set automatically assumes that the dude who has two nice looking chicks with him has good value to offer. (5) I mess around with the redhead, semi-grinding, then I just lift her up and do a spin. Before I can fully execute the spin, she latches onto me with her legs and I’m totally baffled at this point and mentally just go „WTF? SHE’S TOTALLY INTO ME!“. This would have been a perfect situation to go for a kiss, probably even a makeout. (6) However, since this kind of high energy, high attraction response was new to me, I totally failed to capitalize. We danced around a little more, then the pantomimes went off. I realised I ruined this whole set with not escalating and then just „hanging around“, as if I want to be in their party, instead of bringing the party, so I eject. By this time, enough time has passed that our favorite location was open, so we prepared to leave. The pantomimes semi-stuck around, so I suggested we all go there (+).
We go there, dance and fool around, then I see the first cutie giving me a look of „Fuck, giant penis guy left, now I’m stuck here without a dude - but hey, he (me) seems good enough, he’ll do, I’m kinda horny“. While dancing I kiss the first cutie who kissed giant penis guy before. I saw she’s receptive, so I thought why not? I later try to go for the makeout, but she just backs away, laughing amused. Huge mistake I did here, I tried to chase her down to it, instead of just letting my head stay in the position. (7) Many times, they will come straight back and start making out with you, because they see you don’t give a damn and aren’t butthurt. Some time passes, we go back to the initial bar again, but now you have to pay to get in. The cutie is with me all the time, not because I want to, but because she chooses to do so (not needing anything...). They have to leave shortly, so we all just hang around outside, I grab two of the pantomimes and stand around with them like a pimp, like I own them. The other pantomimes hover around, I drag them into the circle, until I end up cuddling with 4 of them in this huge 4-girl-1-guy cuddle ball, all talking nice and sweet and giggling nonstop. (+) BB tries to get in on the fun, but one girl pretty much viciously blows him off by throwing away his hat. The cutie even slaps my ass at some point. As they leave, I kiss her one more time and that was the end of the pantomimes. At some point, when I mentioned I don’t drink, they say „Oh, but you are so fun and confident and outgoing, how can you do that without alcohol?“ I held back „Because I meditate, bitch“ and instead elaborated on the benefits of meditation.
After they left, my buddies and me wanted to enter the bar. There’s a line, and they keep socialising with some people they know apparently, and then I see her. Long blonde hair, the most attractive face of any woman I’ve seen so far on the carnival, rigid facial features, yet very nice to the eye, a great costume, showing a fine taste of fashion sense, slim, sexy, great smile, bright blue eyes. Pure sex and femininity in a woman. She’s a perfect 10/10. PGN even commented in a way of „The most beautiful woman on the entire carnival“. BB talks with her and wants to buy her some drinks, I simply shake my head. At this point I’m super tired already, I reached a state of pure non-caring as to what will happen. Whether I get to talk with her or not, whether I can kiss her, whether I will talk with anyone else that evening, I just don’t care. After a while, we enter the bar and this is where we slowly start to get to talk. She has some guy friend with her who’s obviously pushing very hard to make something happen in a disguised playful way, I see her looking at me and rolling her eyes in the sense of „This crap happens to me all the time“. PGN and me walk around with her for a bit, she tells me I have a nice costume, I tell her she has a sexy costume, she goes „What are you trying to do here?“ I just dismissively wave my hand and give a „Pah“-sound, which probably no one heard because of the loud music. (+) Now, to understand this, it may sound esoterical or hippy or voodoo-magic-type of nonsene to you, but every now and then I make a list of the ideal woman I want to meet. I will then proceed to, without fail so far, find said woman or get in contact with her within 30-60 days. Not that I try, she simply comes across my way somehow. I could screen her pretty quick, and she seemed to be the woman from my list. Some of the items on that list I couldn’t know for sure, for example, was she a vegetarian? However, since she seemed to otherwise fit and I was sure she was the one from my list, out of the blue, I ask her „Are you a vegetarian?“ She goes „I don’t know how you get that idea, but you’re actually pretty close. I only eat meat if I know it’s good quality“ - in other words, a flexitarian (semi-vegetarian), so it was really close to being a vegetarian. I think I piqued her interest with this. (+) After a while, she guides us around to her friends again, they screw around with me and everyone laughs in the way I react. I see her walking around some more, talking with some dudes, but I am always the one she keeps coming back to in the end. (+) I’m not sure what we talked about, but everything she did was telling me she was attracted to me - and I didn’t even care, I was too tired. I just hang around, slightly dancing to the music. In such a situation where everyone was just enjoying his time, she comes close to me again and says „I forgot your name“. Here I play a little too hard and just say „That’s because I never told you“. She seems a little annoyed, but also has a kind of fire in her eyes in the sense of „Oh, so you are challenging me?“. (8) At some point, PGN goes „Let’s go to the other bar again“. I agree. Here I might have made a mistake. (9) I should probably have said „5 more minutes“ and talked with the girl some more, but instead came to her and said „Yo, we’re leaving to the other bar, let’s go there together. I want to talk to you, but it’s way too loud here“ „It’s just as loud over there, you tourists have no idea“ (She was from around here) „Nah, you can actually talk there, we’ve been there already, however if you don’t want to, that’s fine“ and then I left it at that. Also a huge mistake. (10) She still said it in a nice way, kind of challenging me, but in a fun way, trying to see if I could pass her tests, but I simply didn’t care, I was way too tired. So we left. My body simply couldn’t take it much longer, so I left to our apartment (at about midnight), while they hung around some more. Maybe try to push your absolute limits next time? It’s almost daunting how little of a damn I gave about having met my perfect 10/10 woman from my list. I simply had the attitude of „Oh yeah, cool, so this happens. Let’s see how it goes. I’m tired. I’d rather sleep than have sex with the most amazing woman on the entire carnival“. It kind of felt what David Deida talks about when he says „Don’t make the woman your purpose. Make you life’s purpose your purpose.“ Here, my purpose was very clear. I just wanted to sleep at this stage. Still feels a little like excuses though. The thing is, I don’t even regret it, because at the time, I felt good with my life, I had fun, I had a blast so far, I didn’t really „need“ more. If I wouldn’t have been so damn tired, I would have pushed for more, but instead I opted to go for the thing that felt the best to me: Go sleep.
Lessons learned:
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