Hello esteemed RedPill community. This is my first post here, after two/three short weeks of intense soul searching/lurking. You read the the title and yes, this post will be dedicated to my cringe-worthy recollections of being a Beta with the wrong girl. Feel free to give advice or just bash on me in general. God knows I need the kick in the ass anyways.

Background I (Asian HB 7/10?) met this extremely attractive Latina (HB 8/10) at a rave last year through a mutual friend. She had a cute face, colored eyes, with a nice beautiful ass to go along with everything. I was immediately under the notion that she was out of my league. But honestly in retrospect, I don't give myself enough credit for pulling attractive girls. (I always seem to drop the fucking ball when it comes to women once I'm past the attraction stage. I blame it on the inner Beta and my lack of game.) Anyways, somehow we end up clicking together very well at the rave and we start "talking" and texting afterwards. Since she went to the high school all of my friends went to, it was very easy to ask my friends about her and who she was in high school. Although we both really liked each other, her lengthy history of boyfriends kind of threw me off and I was a little daunted by that due to my lack of experience with women. I eventually wrongfully hard next her and cut her off completely when I got involved with someone else. (If only I had the ability to spin plates then, FUCK.) The person I got involved with also ended up burning me but that's another sad story for another sad time. Stupid of me to put my eggs in one basket right? Anyways, she eventually becomes spiteful when I go missing and I end up apologizing to her after a party two months later. I then proceed to find out that she is moving to Vegas with one of her past boyfriends from high school who cheated on her. Quote unquote "Soulmates", am I right? Fast forward to Summer Sixteen.

The Rise of the Beta A few days into this summer, I receive a text from her saying that she moved back into the area and that things did not work out with her ex after a few months. (What a surprise.) We agree to hang out and we end up hanging out a lot over the summer. Over this time period, I don't really have any feelings or attachments to her just yet, although we were extremely flirty with each other. It is not until after another rave, that I discover that I have feelings for her. (It might've been the acid, honestly).

After that rave, I become tired of orbiting and in all my Beta-ness I decide to ask her how she really felt about me. The outcome of that discussion was not favorable for me and rather awkward for both of us, but we somehow manage to patch things up and remain friends.

At this point, her birthday comes up and I, in my infinite niceness, decide to buy her a nice bottle for her birthday. She then proceeds to ask me out to attend another rave with her to celebrate her birthday weekend. I agree. I feel like I am finally making the correct steps to leaving my tag as an orbiter. The day before the rave, we buy our tickets at her birthday dinner. I then tell her to attend a function my friend would be having at his house. She said she would attend with her friends, but she never showed up even though her friends did. Through my resourcefulness, I found out that day that she had actually gotten a hotel for the weekend and fucked her brains out with her ex. Was I hurt? Yes. I eventually got over it the next day because my Beta mind told myself that we weren't even really a thing yet, so I just tried to enjoy myself at the rave with her. A few days later, I realized that she was treating me differently.. in a good way. In retrospect now, I realized that it was finally my turn. (She's not yours, it's just your turn) Upon realization then, I finally made my move and it was then when we started finally "dating".

The Pinnacle of Beta-ness Within the first week of me making my move, we finally fucked. Everything was fucking great. I only wish I knew about TRP at this point in my life. In that first two weeks, she was over at my house every other day. Needless to say, I was quite lost in the sauce. What came from the combination of good pussy, my lack of experience with girls, and with her experience with guys? I reached the highest levels of Beta much too quickly. I was texting her too much, demanding too much of her time, and was overly needy. I'm currently cringing as I type this. My thoughts about her quickly became irrational and I did extremely irrational things. In a way, my irrational thoughts were validated to some extent. There was one day where she gave me the code to her phone to play music, and on that day, she fell asleep and I took the opportunity to check her phone. (Beta at its finest). Even though we were technically dating exclusively, she was texting her ex and two other guys. She was sending her ex the same nudes she would send me. What did I do about this? Nothing. That's how fucking Beta I was. Any of you reading this can probably already see how this is going to end.

Needless to say, this did not end well. She eventually cheated. She eventually told me that she would did not want a boyfriend at this time , despite me making my intentions of making her my girl. Instead of acting with abundance mentality, I tried to keep her around. Fuck me, right? On top of that, I tried to shift our relationship to something like a FWB relationship. She smelled the desperation, and it drove her away.

The thing was, we already had tickets to one more show, and that show was an absolute shitshow. The vibes were terrible and it ended up with me eventually leaving her to do my own thing at the show. Afterwards when we met at the car, we had a huge argument in front of my friends. How incredibly demeaning right? After that day, she told me she didn't want to hear from me anymore. I said fine. Deep down, I knew I needed space from her to recalibrate myself. Here's where it gets funny though.

Within three or four days, she began to hit me up again, with her snap chatting me, and calling me telling me she missed me. I was doing just fine with not having any contact with her because I knew it was for the best. I eventually ask her to hang out and she agrees, only to blow me off. I later found out she was fucking her ex again on the day we were supposed to hang out. This was when I eventually called her and told her we can't talk or hang out anymore. We go without contact for a week and I unfriend her off snapchat. I don't call her, text her, or nothing but I still had her on Twitter. This was when the subtweets began. Eventually, I see her at a party last Saturday. I was making a concerned effort to not talk to her, when she comes right up to me and I drop my frame. We end up dancing and she tells me the same old shit, saying she misses me and all. I fall for it. I eventually ask her to hang out again, but she lets me off easy, saying she's tired and what not. She later went to a bar that night.

This was when I realized that I'm just her play toy. This was when I realized that she just gets off on attention from any other guy. This was when I realized that I didn't mean jack shit to her. If a girl really wants to see you, she'll see you. I came to realize that I could definitely do better for myself, and that I wasn't here for her fucking entertainment. You can't make a hoe a house wife. My friends fucking warned me.

I'm a fucking Beta, I know. I'm working on it, guys. Please believe me.

Final Notes I am grateful to her for shoving the redpill down my throat. [A W A L T] She literally gave me the cheat code on how to act with women, at one point while ending things with me. Despite the negative experiences, there was some good times in these quick two months. So I'm also grateful for that.

Game Plan I plan on lifting more consistently, approaching more girls, and improving myself as a person overall. I plan on reigniting my personal interests, because I quickly found myself to be a very boring person while being with her. I will do this by following TRP standards. There are positives and lessons to be learned from this "L". Advice is appreciated, friends.

TL;DR) Guy meets girl. Guy drops girl. Girl moves in with ex, fails. Girl moves back and reveals inner-Beta in Guy. Guy shoves redpill down throat. To be continued.