Conversational Repertoire: How do I improve it?

lixaxil · 2014-01-14T22:12:19+00:00

I have heard/ read several bits of knowledge but nost of what I have learned is just from a lot of trying and experimenting.

Speak with a deeper voice Basicly there are two ways to speak. Most people speak with the higher voice. This is difficult to explain but easy to do once you get it (after that you just have to make it a habit). I don't know what actually is the difference but for me the deeper voice was also the voice I used when singing so that helped for me. One thing I notice is that when I pinch my nose closed: When I speak in the higher "default" voice, my voice become kind of a nagging voice and I can feel my nose vibrate. On the other hand when I use my lower voice I dont feel or hear any change when pinching my nose. An "advantage" of using my lower voice is that I cannot speak as fast.
Speak slowly Do not speak as fast as you can. This gives the impression of "I better say all of this fast. If I don't the other person might get bored"
Do not describe just the facts, but also your mood and opinion on it. Instead of something like "I went to paris for a day a few months ago. I spend over 200 euros there. Therefore I am not going there again" Add in you mood and opinion on it. so maybe something like that. "I had an interesting experience in paris when I was there for a day a few months ago. While stuff like the view from the eiffel tower was very enjoyable, I found that I was being treated like a dumb tourist. Because of the high prices, I felt like I was getting ripped off. While I find the french in the less touristy locations very friendly, the french people in paris made a bad impression on me"
Avoid uhms, "you know" and stuff like that Intead just pause for a second every once in a while. When you "uhm" in a conversation it basicly just signals that you do not have much to say but still want the other person attention. When you pause .... especially mid sentence .... you create the impression that what you say is important. Also avoid words that do not add anything to what you say. Instead of something like "You that subreddit where there all these people and uhm they all like talk about x" try "The subreddit where people talk about x"
Try to get people to talk about themselves. A lot of people like talking about themselves. If you can find out somebodies passion, try getting them to talk about it. This of course requires genuine interest, but for me I always like learning new stuff anyways so it comes easy to me. Ask how they got started, if there is a community for it. Often people will start talking a lot because they do not often find people who will listen to their passions. An example of this would if someone were to say they were into X. I would say something like "X? Well I have not heard that a lot, what exactly do you find intersting about that?"
Use statements instead of questions. For instance say "You look like you had a rough day" instead of "How was you day?" When you use statements you have advantages. First off the other person cannot give a "yes" or "no" answer but instead has to confirm or deny your assumption, meaning the other person has to put in some effort when they respond. Secondly it makes you come of as non-needy, you could just continue your monologue if they do not respond. Lastly it requires you to make some judgement of them thereby showing them part of youself. If you get it right/wrong they might ask you why you made the assumption and you will have another thing to talk about.

There is probably a lot more, but this is what I can think of right now

edit: fixed some spelling

heist_of_saint_graft · 2014-01-14T19:10:57+00:00

My main guideline when conversing with women: Don't talk about factual things. Don't ask a lot of questions that have definite answers. ("So, where did you go to college? Oh, really! What was your major? Did you get an internship from that?" Blah blah blah. You see how boring this is even to read for three lines?)

First of all, most of these topics are boring are make things seem like a job interview. More to the point, since women are driven by emotions, not facts, you want to talk about things that are open to interpretation, mysterious, ambiguous, etc.

Childhood memories, feelings, anything to do with human interaction (especially between men and women), travel plans, her hopes and fears, etc. Stay in this zone.

pbawesome · 2014-01-14T23:02:11+00:00

How to Hold Conversation Like a Man | Nick Sparks | Full Length HD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI

frequentlywrong · 2014-01-14T19:13:12+00:00

The book Models by Mark Manson has pretty good info about conversation.

FortunateBum · 2014-01-14T18:57:12+00:00

I think the thing that's helped me is the concept of holding back. I think maybe for female speakers, spilling every thought works, but it's less effective for men.

So holding back means trying to be receptive when someone wants to talk. Allowing them to guide the subject a little. But most importantly, let silence happen. Just go ahead and let big silences occur. Allow them to jump in with something at that point. Don't always do this, but sometimes. Also, not all chats are going to be good. Some will be better than others. This is for conversation only, not for gaming.

ayjayred · 2014-01-14T21:26:36+00:00

It helps if you are accomplished and passionate about something then the words will flow. Live an interesting life. Most people live mediocre lives if your life experience is even remotely unique they will hang on your words. For me it's my world travels and the fact I've actually worked my dream job.

Gorgonzola54 · 2014-01-14T23:20:16+00:00

These are all good points but also remember you are the prize. It's up to her to impress you.

Title	Conversational Repertoire: How do I improve it?
Author	ayjayred
Upvotes	5
Comments	16
Date	January 14, 2014 6:53 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1v7k65/conversational_repertoire_how_do_i_improve_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/conversational-repertoire-how-do-i-improve-it.10003 https://theredarchive.com/post/10003

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