Hi folks,

I'm a 23 year old guy from Canada. Had been beta most of his life, and only recently discovered the red pill. Graduated from a top name university with a top name degree and got a job in a big telecommunication firm in a pretty impressive role (which I've since quit, for reasons highlighted below that are not red-pill related).

One thing that keeps coming up again and again is to have an irrational amount of self-confidence in the red pill world. But my question is: where does this self worth come from? (Yes, I know the key word is "irrational" there). I'm not asking this question with respect to getting women, but as a man in the 21st century in general.

Reading up on the red pill, and reflecting on my life experiences and the experiences of buddies and my parents' friends, the whole damn goal seems kinda silly. Work hard --> make a lot of money --> get married --> have kids --> rinse/repeat. Work and my ability to provide for my impending family is something that was historically related to determining a man's worth (yes, a part of the female imperative: to determine the worth of a man by his ability to serve the woman). And I'm in this void now where this just seems stupid and worthless.

So...how do I determine my own worth? Where does the source of my self assurance and confidence come from?

If the rewards that work were supposed to provide me have become obsolete, what then? Add to this my strong belief that mindless consumption (big fan of /r/Anticonsumption) is not the way to happiness. I prefer a minimalistic lifestyle where I accumulate experiences and not things.

And this is cognitive dissonance speaking here, but I'm still emotionally connected with the idea of money = security (because in many ways it is true), or maybe the old definitions that work = self worth. I also do have immigrant parents that have done much for me, and while I have no intent of spending money on women frivolously, honouring my parents' sacrifices to give me a comfortable life and education is something I definitely wish to do through providing them with financial freedom. And so, I feel this compulsive need to ACHIEVE corporate success and make a ton of money. And yet, I see most companies in the world just pushing the levers for more mindless consumption, for more unhappiness in society (leading to me leaving my job). And I want to just opt out. Not play this game anymore. And yet, I cannot feel whole with that idea either. I do need something to do to determine my self-worth, and yes I do need something to feel secure financially.

The only times I feel valuable is when I do volunteer work in the community with mentoring boys on how to navigate the world today and environmental work. It's been good for me. But it's hard to see doing that into any lasting lucrative career.

I know this question of mine is specific to me, but I would be very curious to read people's thoughts on the broader concept also: how does a man in today's society determine his self-worth?