This is the second installment of the frame control series. For part one, search "FRAME CONTROL SERIES"

In this post I will be discussing imposed standards, that are typically different from what you think already.

Chances are, you will make a comment or do something that is not middle of the road behavior, and you will get called out on it. This can be seen if you take a heaping pile of food from a communal buffet and a typical comment will be along the lines of "save some for the rest of us." If you want to test this out with some black night behavior get on line before a person who is known for calling people out especially if they are short and skinny. The difference is that you are a man and probably eat twice what they do because you work out and expend calories thinking. They are probably watching how you pick and place on your plate and cant wait to pass judgement.

Other examples include selfish behavior or going after something that benefits you instead of the group. Adjusting creature comforts like the thermostat in a common area or turning on a fan are prime situations when someone will test your congruence. If you are so unsure of your behavior that you back down or make a concession, they have succeeded in changing your mind. This may include installing (read: conditioning) fear, uncertainty or doubt.

Methods of changing your behavior include ridicule, and labeling you or your behavior with a word that you wouldn't want to be called.

What is happening here, is that you have an idea of what you think is acceptable and someone is trying to convince you or apply a negative association to dissuade this behavior in the future.

Other examples that aren't driven by criticizing existing behavior is defining a method of behavior before you engage. This is the proactive, vs reactive strategy.