This is going to be long:

I’m 22 and I was in a relationship for over 2 years with a girl I thought was very sweet. From 13-18 I was a very immature kid, with neckbeard like traits. At the end of 18/start of 19 I started losing weight, maintaining hygiene and becoming a completely different person. I messed around with a girl around that time, but didn’t wanna fuck her cause she was absolutely crazy (trust me) didn’t even wanna risk the 1% chance of having a baby with her. A few months after this I start dating my coworker. She went after me (found my IG, liked all my pics) and then we started talking heavily.

I really enjoyed talking to her because she was very sweet, kind, and caring. Also very cute/pretty. She was giving me attention I wasn’t used to and genuine care that I wasn’t used to receiving. A few weeks into us dating she drops a bomb that she goes to a church where you MUST be a member to date another member. That sounded crazy to me. My whole life I’ve always believed in a higher power and pray every night but wouldn’t go to church because I’ve seen a lot of hypocritical bad people that go to church and pretend they’re good people. I thought fuck it, it can’t hurt to try and I really care about this girl. I go periodically to the church, and didn’t like it at first. Over time I enjoyed (most) of the messages they were putting out. Fast forward to a year, I’m baptized in this church (Christian)

Her mom dislikes me. A LOT. I did nothing to cause this originally (except NOT be Filipino/born in the church) We would be hanging out (she was 18 I was 20 at this point) and literally 1.5-2 hours in she would call her and tell her to come home. She’d have to basically lie to her mom just to hang out with me. So we went that route. I really tried to be sweet with the mom, but she wouldn’t have it. The mom is a ex military, divorced (was cheated on multiple times I heard) and no job. She is INSANE. It had nothing to do with how I acted towards her, she’s a completely controlling freak with her kids (and BF)

I thought getting baptized would solve all of our problems (whole time we’re hiding a relationship from her mom, everyone else knows) nope. And to clarify I didn’t get baptized JUST for my then GF. At least that’s how I felt. But I sacrificed A LOT for my then GF. Anyway, we have our issues and fights like any other couple. Months pass, and 2 weeks ago I was heading out on a small vacation for the weekend. She wanted to see me so she told her mom she had work and then came over to my house.

We wake up to a text! Her mom went to her work and obviously she wasn’t there. GF is crying, we’ve finally been caught after this whole time. GF goes to her work parking lot and we meet the mom in her car. My GF tells her this whole time I’ve been the BF (lol) and that we got “breakfast” her mom’s yelling at me saying I’m not a “man” for not calling my GF out on lying to her mom, etc. I’m sitting there listening to it and not saying much back out of respect to my GF. I leave and my GF texts me that we should have a break. I said no I’m not doing that...I thought it was over, weekend passes, and Monday comes. This is where I’d be giving her all her shit and get mine back.

After an emotional 3 hours of talking about it, I’m pretty much out of tears at this point and so is she. She basically starts making out with me, I pull her body on top of me and we start making out heavily. I’m like what the fuck?? Whatever breakup sex fuck it. We fuck, and then she goes are we making a mistake? I’m thinking what the fuck do you mean we, even with our problems I told her I could try talking to the mom about it etc. We say fuck it and think we can make it work out. WRONG

A week passes by and my GF is acting weird IRL at this time. She then tells me her mom said she doesn’t approve of the relationship, we should break up, etc. She basically tells me we should breakup but doesn’t have the heart to tell me. So I was mad as shit because I’m getting mixed signals and being forced to be the “bad guy” and breakup. So we broke up. It could’ve ended peacefully the week before but she fucked up. Now I’m angry at her for giving up twice in a week span and don’t want anything to do with her. It hurts a lot right now because she was my first real GF and I cared so much for her.

I’ve been socializing a lot more lately with my buddies, getting super high and blasting music (listen to rap heavy so it’s easy to be in a fuk that bitch mode lol) and trying to better myself. It’s only been a week since we broke up, I don’t want her back it just sucks not talking to someone you would talk to literally every day for years. I’m desperate for pussy right now and catch myself going for girls I wouldn’t normally go for. I got rejected like 3x (to be fair, I went about them the wrong way) but shit I even made a tinder and bumble and I’m not getting any matches. It feels weird because my GF was attractive, girls have shown me attention while I was in my relationship but now it feels like no one is here anymore. At my worst I think did I get lucky with this girl? How long will it be til I get laid? It sucks. I feel like I’ve been coping well (honestly I’ve been through a lot so a breakup isn’t that harsh) but shit still hurts. And with my ex she lied to her mom so much (she basically had to, abusive controlling Mom) that it gave me trust issues. I never thought she’d be the type to cheat but it was still in my head because I’ve seen her lie so much. I’m thinking of all the negative aspects of our relationship and it feels like it helps. She blocked me on social media because I sent her mom a long harsh text basically telling her everything that’s wrong with her. Because she’s a bad person and emotionally abusive towards her children regardless of our relationship...

Thank you if you got this far, I just wanted your guys opinion on the situation and wanted some advice on how to get through this.