A little backstory:

I was a 19 year old who dabbled in drugs due to family and it being a way to numb the world (mostly weed but others sometimes), been doing this since 16, when a girl showed interest I was puzzled as to why since big time stoner doing nothing but going through the motions till uni ends and can finally make a life away from family, the way she hugged me and showed affection was something new and has been engraved in my head since then.

After we dated and she broke up with me I was left heart broken and depressed for 4 months or so, so I decided to start gym, quit drugs and started to become the ‘chad’ icon as in bang loads of women, get fit and make money, I’ve been doing this and so far I’ve banged a few girls, started an epic sport (free running) and have prepped to have an awesome outcome from uni while keeping busy to minimise family contact.

Even though I get mired with girls looking at me biting their lip grinning and even though I keep busy, gym, study, work and do my thing I keep thinking back to the way my first hugged me and made me feel something after years of being numb.

What should I do guys, should I try winning her back, should I try forgetting her and hope time heals all wounds, she’s blocked me on all forms of contact but it still hurts that I can contact her but I’d have to go or if my way, feeling a little lost here guys.

TLDR: met girl who made me feel after years of numb, have bettered myself but still miss her.