Long story short: A girl who is about a 4.5 on looks is throwing me into the role of a Beta provider. How do I know this? Well last night, I tried to have sex with her but she said things like, "I don't just have sex with anybody, this is too hard, you're 'too cute.'" Right now, I am so depressed. Think about how pathetic this is: an unattractive girl is throwing me into the role of a Beta provider. I'm sure if I was one of the "hot guys", we would have fucked instantly...

To be honest, I am really desperate and it shows. I don't masturbate because it fuels my shitty emotions knowing that I'll never get to experience any of that soon. I know I'm not that attractive, I'm only 5'10", weigh 138 pounds and can only bench press about 80 pounds. My social skills are very weak and even my sister(a 23 year-old Social Work major) says I'm a "loser."

This is fucking damaging to me. I see all of these girls at my university, but I know that they don't want me because they don't even look in my direction. I feel rage toward them but I know I shouldn't because they're just following their biological instincts. I just wish I was asexual so I can forget about this shit. Seriously, I'm tired of being the Beta provider and getting thrown into orbit right after. My last girlfriend left me for another guy and is now trying to talk to me about her new problems with him. I immediately cut off all contact with her, but it still hurts me like Hell. I'm sick of this pain, I'm sick of being attracted to girls because it's just wasted goddamn energy.

Here my mother is EXPECTING me to be sexually active, but it's just not possible. The only thing I'm going to get is a "let's just be friends" or "you're a nice guy." WELL FUCK YOU ALL! I hope your tongue gets ripped out and shoved down your throat. I know I'm acting like a Beta, but this is just too fucking painful. Yeah, I know you're all going to make fun of me and I deserve it...