I had trouble understanding the “no attaboys” policy implied here but now I think I’m starting to see why it’s needed. In my opinion the need/desire for attaboys points to a deeper problem and is a lot of times a way to validate your own LARPing of masculinity.

To make myself more clear – if a man is hoping to express and cultivate his authentic masculinity there is a very important step he must make – he must become his mental point of origin. Unless you are your mental point of origin there’s no way for you to reliably track progress and therefore can’t get anywhere of significant importance. You’ll be too easily swayed by your social circle asking you out to get shitfaced on a tuesday, your brofriends telling you it’s fine to skip a workout every now and then for the 5th time in the last 2 weeks, or your internet testicular cancer group where you get to cry as long as you’ve done your 10 minute daily meditation.

The other issue with attaboys is that if you allow yourself to be moved by that type of external validation you are also allowing yourself to be a slave to your emotions. Sure, anger can get you going, it helps in the gym but is not sustainable. Are you going to do the dishes angry? Are you going to brush your teeth, study for your finals or read books angry? The grind requires discipline, willpower, planning, and emotions can easily tilt you away from those mundane essential tasks and you soon find yourself yelling at feminists online, doing martial arts in your room, and masturbating furiously to furry porn.

This brings me to my final point LARPing masculinity is in a way doing all kinds of preparations, theory reading, meditation + cold showers + eating 3+ onions a day, and getting pats on the back from your fellow LARPers. You’ll feel good but your work will be lacking. I haven’t figured out a way to test whether you’re LARPing or to measure sex and violence in a spreadsheet manner, but I know life has set many traps to catch LARPers. Some of them you pass so easily you don’t even notice others you don’t even see coming.

In conclusion: The journey to masculinity mandates solitude and if you’re expecting the world to cheer because you’ve set your sights on getting your shit together you will not only be disappointed but it also might mean your sword isn’t actually a sword but a latex foam covered stick that can’t be used even as a dildo.