How to use rejection as a learning experience.

Any time you face rejection or failure in life, it is important to learn from your failure rather than sulk in your misfortune. Today I give you one such rejection I faced, and how I used the lesson I learned to make a change to my moral code.

BACKGROUND

A few months ago, my girlfriend (Jennifer) and I planned a date with a chick (Maddie) we were to have a threesome with. My girlfriend had never met the chick, so we were planning on meeting at a restaurant/bar in downtown Vegas at 8:30pm.

7:30 rolls around, and Maddie asks us if it's okay if she brings a friend. I told her yes, that's fine [nowadays I would 100% say 'NO - just you']. Maddie says cool, and we still have the plan for 8:30. Jennifer and I get to the restaurant at 8:30, and no sign of Maddie. 8:40...no Maddie. 9:00...no Maddie. 9:15...by this time we're done eating, and you guessed it - no Maddie.

I do the only sensible thing a guy would do - not hit up Maddie - knowing full well this chick blew us off, while Jennifer does the complete opposite. Jennifer calls up Maddie, bitches her out via voicemail, and sends a few texts saying how pissed she is to have not shown up. Jennifer must have really wanted to fuck this chick that night because she was beyond pissed.

LEARNING EXPERIENCE

After some conversation, I tell Jennifer, 'Look, we need to find a way to deal with people like this. Maddie did this to us now, but in the future, how will we handle people like this?' What we came up with sticks to me to this day, and has saved me tremendous confusion, and here's why. Any time a similar situation comes up, I refer back to my moral code, this new lesson I learned being firmly ingrained in it. When life gets tough, all we as men have to fall back on is our moral code. Despite wealth, intelligence, family, friends, when nobody is there for you but yourself, you always must have your moral to guide you.

LESSONS

Rejection from Maddie shaped my moral code in a new way. Present day, if I ever have plans with somebody and they bail, I put the ball in their court to make plans. If that falls through, I won't ever consider playing with them again. If you bail the second time, I have already written you off my mind. I have moved on, and literally could not care about your life at this point (not with contempt, no, but with the opposite - indifference). Too many great people have taught me the power of second chances, so if you make one attempt to reach me, I will give you a second chance at redemption. Beyond that, I'm already moved on.

HOW HAS THIS HELPED?

I used to subscribe to the same theory as many men here - if a chick blew me off once, I would hit her up one more time, and if she bailed, I would never make attempts again. In my mind, I treat bailing on planned events the same as refusing to accept plans in the first place. Present day I treat men and women equally when it comes to making plans. I will contact them once, but if they 'bail', I will never contact them to make plans that second time, though I will give them one chance at redemption if they contact me.

My lifestyle has changed immensely in the past few months (apart from this theory), and I now realize that my most valuable resource in life, beyond money, beyond family, is my time. Right now, I could be lifting weights at the gym, but I am spreading my knowledge to help the rest of you. I do not have the time to waste on flakes, or anybody who treats my time as anything less than the most important thing in my life.

If I make plans with 5 guys at work to go to the bar, and one doesn't show up, he's not getting invited the second time. Again, not out of contempt, but out of indifference. If a girl tells me 'Raincheck?' on the day I tell her we're hanging out, I move the fuck on. I'm not some fucking supermarket merchandise for $3.50. I'm a fucking man with more important things to do than waste my time on somebody who has the gall to treat me as such.

SIDE EFFECTS

This increases others' respect for you. When you increase your self worth, others' perception of your worth will also increase. Be the person who won't put up with bullshit from other people, and you'll be treated as such. Be the person who doesn't care about flakes and will give second, third, fourth chances, and people will EXPECT you to EXPECT to be walked over.

EPILOGUE

Jennifer and I used this method on Maddie. A few days later, she sent us long texts about how she felt bad, and wanted to go clubbing with us. We gave her that last second chance, and that night fucked her until 6 AM the next morning.

At work when I meet people, I quickly use the same methodology to filter out people worthy of my time. In some sense, I am grateful some people flake when I first meet them, as they're letting me know right off the bat they're just losers who can't follow through with their word - not somebody I'd want to associate with.

TLDR Let rejection teach you. If applicable, let rejection guide and shape your moral code. I used being stood up on a date to teach myself a lifelong method for dealing with flaky people.