Long time lurker and need to get my thoughts out. I've been on the red pill for a long time with my current bf of 4 years. And he's amazing. He supports me and spoils me. He's always thinking of me. And I always seem to mess it up. I've been working on my depression and getting no where except on the surface. I'm on medication and go to therapy but deep down i don't feel like i deserve anything. And I feel I'm to cowardly to end it. I feel like things are at a breaking point with my bf, and I can't feel but like I've already gone over the edge and I can't come back. He doesn't even want to sleep next to me tonight. He's even gone as far as to lock up anything in the house he thinks he should. It hurts but I understand where he's coming from. I need some encouragement and advice from you lovely ladies (or men out there) please. I hate doing this but I feel like I've hit rock bottom. Thank you for at least reading about my problems.