I found this thread last night, googling mommy issues. My girlfriend and I broke up last week. This last relationship really resonated with me. I couldn't figure out why it was so amazing to have her in my life. She was the first to tell me I had "mommy issues"

Back story of me, I've always had anger issues. Raised by a single mother, father paid child support. Growing up my mother was emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive. I was a latchkey kid often staying with other female relatives. There were very few male role models in my life. Maybe a handful. From the moment I entered kindergarten I've found a female and latched on to them. I remember the very first "Girlfriend" I had. She looked at me and said "rub my back" immediately I did it. Ever since then I've jumped from rocky relationship to rocky relationship in my life. I lived my life to please females. From pleasing my mom and her female friends and my female relatives through Schooling. To pleasing women that provided me with comfort outside of my home. After finding this thread and reading non stop, I feel I have begun my cleansing process. My great grandmother passed away 3 years ago, and I dropped out of a university that my mother wanted me to go to. I unplugged myself from the system. I began doing Direct Marketing and door to door sales. During this time period I was with a sexually free female that opened my eyes to a woman that needs and needs and takes. She was only with me when she thought I was making money and I was slanging good dick. The second she found out I was 100% commission and hadn't made money in weeks she dipset. Fuck the vision and love. She went and fucked an Alpha. During this time period I wasnt extremely emotionally attached. So it didn't bother me. The very next relationship is a LTR. In this LTR she taught me A lot. There were points in time where she drove me to the brink of my core madness and stuck around long enough for me to truly analyzed it. It brought me here. I want to be a true Alpha. I want to completely digest the red pill. I want to detach myself from the feeling of loneliness associated with not talking to 1 girl. I feel like if I'm not consistently getting the validation of a female I'm lonely. I just recently quit my job. I have a great position in the cannabis industry and will be coming into a large sum of money these next few months. I want to be so stoic that girls are literally throwing themselves at me and I can pick and choose which girl I want to do what with when I feel. Teach me. Teach me to be an alpha.