As someone said a few months ago (I don't remember who), The Red Pill now has more and more "whining" articles. Like "I found a girl hamstering" or "my girlfriend cheated on me, here is what I've learnt". Those are basic red pill informations that doesn't deserve to be posted in various forms, multiple times because this knowledge is already out there.

However, another member argued that decades of conditionning could not be replaced by reading a single article and that in order to place a new conditionning of our choice, we have to read, read, and read again the ideas that support this new conditionning.

My point of view on this is that the first fellow redpiller was fully red pill and not in need of understanding the sexual market anymore, the true nature of women and men mating strategies, the way women thinks, relationships' nature etc. He had already understood it all. To this man, I say : TRP has nothing to offer to you anymore. To me, TRP is about turning blue pill men into Red Pill men. In order to reach that goal, some articles are necessary. The reinforcement is made by those articles who doesn't bring new ideas or knowledge but which helps understanding reality even better.

This article is one of those dumb articles that will not teach you anything but which will help your new beliefs get stronger and stronger. It describes how I swallowed the pill and is entitled "My TRP journal". Of course, this does not contain everything I went through (and I'm not even done yet, although I'm almost there) but everytime I understood something important to me I wrote it down in here.

The main theme is how the external world (movies, music, books, mothers, female friends and the lack of masculine figures) put some dumb conditionning in our heads and some false ideas on how the world is, on how the girl should act, on how the man should act and on how the girl would react to the man's actions (i.e. : open up and it will not be considered weakness, your woman will be glad you trust her enough to show her your real self - urgh, this blue pill shit makes me want to vomit). Enjoy your reading, and may that article help new Red Piller move forward onto their paths more efficiently toward their Red Pill goal.

My TRP journal

Around Mai 2014

So this girl called me for help. I was sexually interested in her and I've been nice to her because I was taught one should be nice in order to get a woman. I went to her home and she used me like her emotionnal sponge. Then she tried to make me do something she could have easily done by herself. I said no, went back home and never talked to her again. This girl was a nasty piece of shit, very negative. I felt depressed just because I spoke to her. She seemed to live in a drama world where eveyrone were hating her, where she suffers so much...oh, poor girl. I said "nope, I don't want to hang out with her, even if it could give me some sex with her". For the first time in my life I turned a woman down. After that, it hurt a little because she didn't reached for me at all (after all I've done for her!), she didn't try to understand why I wasn't speaking to her anymore. I stopped reaching for her, she did nothing. That showed me even more she was just using me and it made me even happier with my decision

Around the early beginning of June 2014

At the end of the class, a girl's sheets of paper fell on the floor. I was standing nearby and I was the only one there. I didn't move a finger to help her. She looked at me with a huge smile of...adoration? yeah, that was that. Adoration. Never saw it on a girl's face before. I got some attention from a woman by not helping her. That' so weird. But awsome in the same way. Because the red pill seems to be true AND because that means I can be lazy, not do anything for women AND be rewarded for that! That's awsome aha!

Middle of June

I Still think from time to time that I didn't acted that bad with my ex, that she may realize how great I was and will come back. Although I've acted like a whining beta nice guy who opens up, shows his weaknesses, beg (literraly) for sex AND other things, spent hundreds of euros explicitely on her, where he cheated on me several times, said she never loved me......Huh. Still a little blue pill I guess.

Middle of June

I feel less anger. Even toward the girl who caused me to look for TRP. I mean, she just followed her feminine imperative and used the tools at her disposal to maximise her chances to get the evolutionnary jackpot. Everyone would have done the same, I can't blame someone because he or she acted in a clever way with his or her best interest at heart in order to get what he or she wants. Knowing what one wants and finding the most effective strategy to get it is something normal that anyone would do. I can only blame the conditionning I've suffered from and which made me think people would not act in that way and that I should expect them not to act that way. I wasn't having too much expectations. i was having falses expectations and a wrong view of reality. Now that I can see the reality of things and that I know the rules, I feel less and less bitter. I understand what's going on, I know the rules, there is no room for manipulation or frustration anymore....I know what to do if I want to be a beta buck, I want what to do if I want to be an alpha fuck....that's simple now. I know where I am, I know how I can go wherever I want to go. I will never ever want something, do everything I can to get it and then not to get it because I didn't know that what I was doing was not what needed to be done in order to get what I wanted to get. That puts a lot of pressure off.

Middle of June

I just realized what I have been during the past years : a big baby. I used to escape reality and responsabilities by playing video games, masturbating to porn every day, fleeing my problems. Basically, I would not do anything : I would not go out, I would not have any hobbies, any real interest, I would choose my carreer by default, I would not be interested in learning anything useful like how to drive a car, how to do things that will help my professionnal carreer, in having a job to earn some money, in learning about things, I would not take care of myself, of my body and of my mind. So I've decided to give up on masturbation, porn, video games and instead to take care of my body, to read more the newspaper, to learn some useful skill (I want to learn how to drive, it's something I want to be able to do because I want to be able to go where I want) and to have some real life experiences.

End of June

Today I was with 2 girls to do a college work. For the first time in my life I realized women were talking a lot but not really saying anything. All this bullshit. I didn't take part in it. I also said something to one of the 2 girls that I can not translate in english. But in a nutshell I told her she is fat (she is a little bit). When she threw a shit test at me I gave her the finger. I constantly pin-pointed how much of a whining pussy she is ("I'm so hungry!", "it's too hot in there!"). And you know what? In return, this girl.....was nice to me. She was incredibly nice, she didn't disrespect me, she listened when I spoke, she doesn't treat me like a piece of shit....that's awsome. TRP seems to work. I REALLY has been fed up with wrong expectations and a wrong outlook on life during my whole life.

End of June

I feel like I'm a new person. In class today we were watching a movie (last class of the year). There was this girl sitting next to me. Threw a lot of shit test and compliance test. I didn't do what she asked. She began to speak some bullshit and I didn't react to it. I wasn't interested in what she was saying. She was saying some crap and un-interesting things. Before I would have give her compliance because I would have been eager to please her. So I would act like I was interested in order to get her approval and or appreciation. This time though, I was honnest and clearly showed her I didn't give a fuck about what she was saying. Another thing is that I now save a lot of my energy, since I don't argue with women anymore. I've been spending a few hours with a dozen of feminist vegetarian girls and I kept my opinion for myself and watched them hamstering and doing their girl's shit. Not worth arguing. They doesn't deserve a debate, can't have one, and I won't waste my precious energy helping them by showing them they were talking shit. Hey, what were they doing for me? I didn't have any reason to do them this favor. Moreover, they would have reacted emotionnally and all collaborate against me....definitely not worth it. So I let them talking their bullshit and didn't take part in. Btw, I also understood that what I was the most eager of was external validation. I realized I could do ANYTHING to get some. It gives me a tremendous pleasure, it's like a drug. Gotta work on it.

Very end of June

Okay so I saw my ex-girlfriend. She was the one who made me seek TRP on the internet. I was her beta buck, the relationship was hell, blabla....(I'm bored of telling the story, everyone of you guys knows what I'm talking about anyway). And today, I saw her and realized : she is not even beautiful. That's a great step. Besides that, I want to say that I now avoid women. Sure, I like to spend time with them, to flirt with them and what I enjoy most is when a girl shows me her filthy side of her. But I don't want to have any women in my life anymore. I've seen it : women are full of bullshit, you can not logically come to a conclusion with them and they may make your life miserable if you let them having any power on it. So now, women stays outside of my life. I don't want to give any woman any sort of influence on my life. You can't argue with her, you are always wrong, she can not think logically or make an adult decision. She is like a little child. Would you give control over your finances or over any area of your life to a child? Hell, no. My relationship with my mother has also been deepening. I've been showing more love and trust to her and I'm happy of that. Because I understood she is the only woman who will ever truly love me, I considerate her much more now. I've identified a problem I have : I want to get a woman only to rely 100% on her, so that I basically have to just lay down in bed while she takes care of everything for me and provide everything for me. A big baby, in a nutshell. Anyway, I realized something funny. I've seen pictures of my mother when she was young and, boys, she was a 10. I thought for a moment about all those guys who must have craved for her unconditionnal love that I am the only one to get now haha

Very end of June

I can't get sad anymore thinking about the girl who brought me to TRP. I try to sit in self pity and to feel pain, sadness, anger by thinking about her but it doesn't affect me anymore... Well, I guess I just have to be happy therefore. Also, I began to act more red pill during the past months. Although I didn't have much social interactions (I focused strictly on working on myself and for private reasons I decided to remain all by myself), I noticed some differences in the way women treats me. The girls I've began acting red pill with...well, they are not in my bed but there is something. They treat me with respect, they don't shower me with their bullshit and I can feel when I'm around them that they....yeah, that they respect me. And that, my friends, is great. Priceless.

Very end of June

I realized how much I screwed things up with my ex-girlfriend because of my former blue pill conditionning. I reflected for a sec and realized something. I compared what my ex girlfriend said and what her actions were. Fact. Harsh, true fact : she cheated on me. I was a beta buck, a looser, whose girlfriend used to give him sex by pity in order to get his money and who never had any pleasure fucking him. And she cheated on me at every scale. This will never happen anymore. I will not let any woman become that important anymore.

Everyone were making fun of me. Behind my back. Everyone knew how ridiculous, beta submissive I was and NO ONE EVER said me anything. All the other dudes knew how much of a wimp I was, how dominated by my girlfriend I was. They knew without a doubt they could be touching my girl friend I would not do anything. Moreover, they knew my girl friend would make me swallow some bullshit. My girlfriend knew she could do anything of me. She knew she could disrespect me. She knew she could cheat on me. She knew she could do anything she wanted. And everyone were laughing. Guys were flirting with my girlfriend in front of me. Girl friend was kissing and touching other dudes in front of me. She was grinding on other dudes right in front of me. While I was standing there alone, not understanding why she was "treating me like this". Girl friend made me think she was an innocent pure girl. One rock two birds killed : I wasn't authorized to do naughty things with her (so she didn't have to do sexual things with me, because she was not "that kind of girl") and she appeared to be wife material. To get my fucking money.

Girl friend doesn't giving me access to her facebook profile or photos. Saw her photos with the account of a friend. Saw photos where she was acting like a whore. Realized she wasn't who she claimed to be. World collapsing. Found The Red Pill. Understood the whole world were making jokes about me. Understood I've been taught dysfonctionnal behavior and beliefs. Understood people were keeping me away from the real world. Understood everyone has been keeping me away from the truth because it was convenient for them. Because they could take advantage of it. Realized I've been placing people before me all my life. Treating them better than I was treating myself. Realized the whole world put in my head ideas like a man has to save his princess. Like a man should sacrifice himself for a girl to love him and in order to have his needs met. Now fuck the people. I won't let that happen anymore.

I don't want to be this man anymore. This man that see the pure and "beautiful" aspect of a woman. I want a drunk woman to make love violently to me. I want the woman I am with reveal her naughty desires and animalistic envy. I want the woman I am with to unveal her slutty nature and whorish behavior with ME. And then to come back to the house of the man she act prudish with.

I am relieved. She cheated on me, yes. I have been acting like a fool and a dumb ass for all my life, yes. But now I say enough is enough. I'm unplugged. And THIS will never happen anymore. Fuck that blue pill shit.