[Need Expert Validation] Never date girls whose previous boyfriend died (i.e. they never broke up).

yalion · 2015-03-22T13:31:07+00:00

Honestly sounds like it could be any other alpha widow. You are not as good as her ex in her eyes, and never will be. She would eventually find someone else that she thinks can give her the same thing she got from her ex, and then would have left you without a second thought.

Mechbiscuit · 2015-03-22T13:41:58+00:00

I don't want to be the insensitive dick, but you gotta look realistically at what she brings to the table.

It is not your responsibility to fix her. It is not your responsibility to make sure she gets dressed in the morning. It is not your responsibility to make sure she takes her anti-depressants.

You have to want what's best for her and sometimes that's walking away and letting her sort herself out.

She will ask you "don't you love me? I need you to take care of me!" it's a trap through and through but not a shit test. A shit test would mean that at some level she's doing it for attention and because of the subject matter, treating it as her just wanting attention can cause more damage.

If she's depressed, has an eating disorder, social anxiety or anything related to putting you into a "carer" role, you need to acknowledge that this is what you are to her. She's looking for a father figure and you must adjust your role in her life accordingly. That also means you need to be aware (as I mentioned before) of the kind of damage that will happen if you fail to fill that role. What she want's is someone to take care of her. You can have a relationship like this, but you must be realistic in being able to follow through with what she's asking of you because she's vulnerable.

As with your post, it could be a case that she simply shouldn't be having a boyfriend right now. If she's been depressed for 5 years and compares all potential boyfriends she meets to her dead ex, then perhaps she has issues she needs to work out that are more important than having a relationship, especially if it seems to be getting in the way of how she functions on a day to day basis.

MachiavellianRed · 2015-03-22T13:45:02+00:00

/r/asktrp

Haramir · 2015-03-22T13:34:02+00:00

You did the right thing for yourself. I know a girl who lost her boyfriend in a bike accident 3 years ago and she just started dating again.

This situation makes every emotion through the roof, you have the nostalgia of the good old time and when someone die, you completely forget the bad things and the good sides are 10x better than they really were.

Title	[Need Expert Validation] Never date girls whose previous boyfriend died (i.e. they never broke up).
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	March 22, 2015 12:51 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2zwe11/need_expert_validation_never_date_girls_whose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/need-expert-validation-never-date-girls-whose.30509 https://theredarchive.com/post/30509

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