TRP is a bit dull today. I like FRs and personal experiences. I also like writing, so here’s mine.

I’m cruising down the highway this morning on the way to work when this song comes on the radio. I crank it up, and I’m smiling like a fucking fiend. Few other songs can put into lyrics what I’ve gone through the past fifteen years better than this. I’ve swallowed TRP, and it has come fully online for about three days now. I can’t remember the last time music sounded this good, or a time where I actually looked forward to commuting through this bullshit traffic on the way to work, or ever feeling this fucking confident. I’m a man on fire today.

I’m walking back from lunch and walk up on a recent acquaintance. I first ran into her at a work event about a month ago, and was instantly attracted. In my typical beta ways, I watched for two hours to see if I could ever catch her glancing at me as a sign that she might be interested. Of course, she never did - very typical of high valued girls to not even register those perceived to be beneath them.

Then, two weeks ago, we both are invited to the same lunch group, three girls and two guys. During lunch, I submit to the other male. He didn’t rank much higher than me on the beta-to-alpha scale, but became the lead male by default when I willingly diverted that role to him, as I have always been prone to do in my life. This was my first actual interaction with her, and she barely remembered me from the previous event. It turned out that she’s actually the alpha of the entire group, and leads the discussions, asks the questions, and directs the attention. It is apparent from her behavior that she is not a stranger to getting (or demanding) a lot of attention. Lunch ends with us planning another group outing (which is tomorrow), and I think damn, she’s hot, but she’d eat me alive. Typical beta me.

So like I said, today I’m walking through this long corridor at work. She is walking in front of me talking to a dominant guy friend of hers (that I met previously). Despite my new world view and my roiling confidence, I flinch and don’t know if I should pass and acknowledge her, or walk awkwardly in their wake. I decide to follow, and recover from my momentary lapse in flow when I realize I don’t really give a fuck either way. She glances back a few seconds later and notices me and lights up with a friendly hey. I give a half-cocked grin and a nod, but don’t say a thing, because honestly, I don’t fucking feel like saying a damn thing to her. This is what I want. Her eyes lock with mine for that noticeable extended second when you know you have her full attention. She’s instantly picked up on this newfound attitude I’m rocking, and I haven’t said a thing yet. She continues to say how she won’t be at lunch tomorrow. At this point, I could say something like “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Why can’t you make it…?” But I’m not a hamster’s bitch today. I say with perfect indifference, “I’m sure it will be a great time.” My words didn’t really matter; it was all in the delivery. In fact, my reply doesn’t even make much sense, but I really am done giving fuck about worry what she may or may not be thinking. She repeats verbatim, “Yes, I’m sure it will be a great time…(?)”. She turns back to the guy, and struggles to rekindle the conversation they had going.

As minor as this may seem to someone experienced and practiced in the red pill ways, this was a huge personal victory. After years of study, the pieces are finally falling into place. Not only did I not react to her presence or cater to her self-centering dialogue, I also recognized how my old self would have acted differently if I hadn’t been on point. Likewise, in the aftermath, I didn’t man-hamster the situation over and over in my head about what I coulda/shoulda done.

Tomorrow I will go to lunch, and will do my best to maintain my new framework. I will say whatever comes to mind, because I’m done giving fucks about what people think. Then, after work, I’m leaving with my younger cousin (F/21) and going to her college town where I’m going to meet and unapologetically and openly game all her attractive friends. Because this is what I want. I think that's what this is all about, taking back our manhood and not feeling ashamed for doing what we really want. At least, that's where I'm at in this current moment, and it feels like a great start.

I’ll report on any more interesting interactions I experience tomorrow and this weekend, and hopefully they will be a bit more substantial.