A muscle is developed by being stressed though vigorous exercise creating millions of microscopic tears in the tissue. The muscle tissue is torn down and (provided proper rest and nutrition) the muscle is rebuilt/regrown stronger, healthier, and larger than before.

Trusting can be a stressful painful process. But if we as men can learn to stress and develop our trust muscles through vigorous workouts of unconditionally trusting our women, our trust muscle will be torn apart reconfigured through this stress exercise and then rebuilt with proper education, awareness ,and a consideration of women's plight and perspective in a patriarchal male dominated world. When we as men truly see the world through the same lenses as women, we can enjoy equality and happiness in love and life.

I remember the first time I walked in on my girlfriend Cortney with a male friend in our bedroom. My initial reaction was a strong emotional response of patriarchal based jealousy and there was a brief moment that I felt a primal urge to be furious, yell, even display signs of rage. But I took a step back and accessed the situation as counseled in a previous therapy session. Rage would solve nothing. We need to talk this out.

I counted to ten and tossed Cortney her bra and panties from across the room and asked her to explain once everyone was decent. It became clear my initial rage was unfounded. Her friend, Brock, is actually a licensed massage therapist and he was giving her Shiatsu massage therapy to help with her tension headaches. But I wasn't initially clear why Brock wasn't fully dressed.

Again jealousy and lack of trust had gotten the best of me. (Trust muscle tissues being shredded!) Brock wasn't entirely naked but was wearing boxers and one of my robes. During my inquisition I asked about his semi nudity and he explained that some of the massage techniques he uses requires him to use his elbows and feet and he didn't want to get lubricant all over his work clothes. (Now I'm aware Astroglide is traditionally used as a sexual lubricant but it's also an excellent massage aid. Try it and see).

I guess their story seemed plausible. (I'm supersetting and maxing out my trust muscle.) I then had a sudden flashback to the other night when I tried to make love with Cortney she denied me explaining that she had a terrible tension headache. Hmmm..her story checks out…this is legit. At this point I felt a deep exhaustion but also a satisfaction probably not unlike when a weightlifter puts up a new personal best on the bench.

Does this put things in perspective? Here I was, ready to fly off the handle arguing in a fit of drama when in actuality that this guy was using therapeutic massage techniques to help my girlfriend with her headache problem. Indirectly being a friend to me. And to those that are wondering if it helped, that night Cortney and I made love like never before. The therapy helped her relax and loosen her body like never before and she even did some new things in bed that she never did before.

Cortney continues with somewhat regular therapy sessions about twice a month. There are times jealousy rears it's ugly head but various meditation therapies and exercises help me and I've always got an assortment of anti-anxiety meds for the occasional panic attack or existential crisis on an off day.

I won't lament the initial pain I experienced when I felt the lapse of trust. A primal part of me wanted to die. Maybe it even did die. But this strengthened and recreated a new me.

If my metaphor isn't clear I want to reiterate my points to help my fellow men that are suffering

  1. Stress the muscle to the point of pain and tearing to break it down (trust your woman unconditionally even in painful situations)
  2. Rebuild the muscle stronger and more resilient with the use of proper rest and nutrition (Fortify the mind with education of woman's plight and viewpoint. During times of high stress make use of anti anxiety medication to assist)

I want to include a couple trust muscle development resources for your perusal.

http://pacificpalisades.patch.com/blog_posts/exercising-the-trust-muscle

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maddisen-k-krown/ask-maddisen---how-to-bui_b_469792.html