There are many experiences we all share in this.  One of the more surprising ones for me just occurred as I was setting up plans to get together.

I  told her exactly what I wanted to do.

Simple.  Incredibly simple.  There was no second guessing myself, no wondering what she wanted to hear, what she might want to do, what her reaction would be, nothing, nothing, nothing like that at all.  It wasn't anywhere near harsh, but it was very much a "take it or leave it" statement.

And this really surprised me: I got this sense of absolute freedom from the experience.  I could say what I liked the way I liked, with no concern at all for her answer.  We know the saying that power corrupts; well, there was a sense of power here but it wasn't about the ego.  It was just a liberation from the forms of behavior that never did a thing for me in the first place.  It was, perhaps strangely, a peaceful feeling, this lack of concern for a response.

And you're damn straight she could sense it;  she responded to it with enthusiasm.  Everything about her became affirmative.  Because by just going directly forward for what I want, she was presented with what she wants: the qualities of an alpha.  

It hasn't always been fun and it hasn't always been easy, leaving what it means to be beta.  And I'm certainly not all the way to alpha.

But that sense of release from the burden of caring so much, and most of all knowing that her reaction isn't on me, that's been a good step.