I have, for quite a long period of time, been interested in Stoicism, mindfulness, non-reactivity, and in self-improvement content on The Red Pill. My intention here is not to pontificate like some quasi-intellectual, but to share some ideas I’ve now had the time to put down.

Prize-mentality and self-improvement are conflicting ideas to internalise. While this makes sense rationally, balancing having a “you’re enough” mentality with the knowledge that your self-improvement journey remains long and arduous, is a major everyday challenge.

I often find myself torn between shallow exterior confidence and bravado, and knowing deep down that I still have lots to improve on. When the going gets tough and the slow progress brings on a wave of hopelessness, I find myself flipping to the “Fuck it. I’m enough and I’m already fucking awesome” rationalisation to give up and temporarily feel good about myself.

This is what has helped me reconcile these seemingly contradictory ideas. Change is always a long-run prospect and the “I’m enough” prize-mentality today, is derived from how you see yourself 20 years or 50 years from now.

Once you truly see yourself on a 20 year journey, and anchor yourself to the goals you can achieve in that time horizon, the hopelessness of slow progress everyday starts to fade away. It no longer matters ad much that you’re not seeing results or gains as fast as the other guy, or that some 9/10 didn’t give you the time of day, or that you messed up your gym routine, or that you are not already perfect at something you only started doing yesterday - because 20 years from now, you’ve already succeeded and therefore you are emotionally stable, non-reactive and holding frame today.

Patience and commitment to our own journeys are the most important skills we can develop. Being kind and supportive of yourself, while keeping the bigger picture in mind and what that means for you today is the best way to develop such patience.

Summary

Progress is happening, we’re just too close to it and too short-sighted to realise it. It’s better be patient and to know that you will get there, rather than wanting to get there faster and faster only to eventually give up and fall short.

Thanks for reading, and happy self-improvement.