I've posted a few times here about my own process of taking the pill, and it has opened up a source of genuine fear.

There's butthurt, then there is reliving each of my former relationships through new eyes, and it makes life seem like a sad waste.

The things I did because I thought I was doing the right thing, because I wanted to be what I thought was a good man, were so wrong that they made me literally disgusting to women I loved.

I will spare you the details, but remembering the relationships in this light feels like real trauma, the kind that fucks up your long game. Some guys tough it out, sure, but I can see how some guys just call it.

So yeah, do better, be better, lift etc, but how do you forgive yourself for living what, with hindsight, was a contemptible life of ingratiation and spinelessness?

I'm off to the gym, and I will make this fine. But if you guys have any insight into what it takes to accept that you have been, by your own standards, beneath contempt, I'm sure I am not the only one who would appreciate it.