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Should I give her another chance?

[deleted]

June 16, 2015
0 upvotes
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Post Information
Title Should I give her another chance?
Author

[deleted]
Upvotes 0
Comments 10
Date June 16, 2015 3:26 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a1pwf/should_i_give_her_another_chance/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/should-i-give-her-another-chance.33714
https://theredarchive.com/post/33714

Comments

[–]abdada1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Reward good behavior, never reward just good words.

You want to reward her words, not her actions.

Worse, because she abused your leadership before, what she's doing now is actually what she SHOULD have been doing before, so you can't reward this new minimum.

You can only reward her for doing MORE than she should have been doing.

It's like celebrating when a fat person becomes less fat. WTF is that about? You celebrate actual success, not just someone's becoming normal again.

[–]Z28D0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I completely agree. I've tried motivating her before with regards to writing and losing weight but she seemed cold to it, like she thought I was acting better than she was. Which, discipline wise, I was better, but I was trying to help.

Maybe showing her that I can live without her presence broke her out of that state? Maybe hurting her enough (not purposefully) was enough for her to get off her ass and move on her own? Who knows.

[–]abdada0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I never found any basis for telling a woman to lose weight or even bringing it up. I prefer thin girls, fit girls. I prefer a tight belly over boob size or ass size.

I've had LTRs and plates ask me if they're fat after seeing photos of me with exes. My answer is always the same: "What do you think?" I would never get into a relationship with someone who is overweight, but I have gotten out of relationships when someone has gained weight.

If asked, I'm honest, but losing the weight doesn't fix anything. The fact that someone thinks it's acceptable to become fat when they're with me is just a ridiculous premise that one can undo that behavior.

It's like cheating. You don't fix it by not cheating. You don't fix getting fat by losing weight.

[–]Z28D0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

My vice is thick girls. This girl would be my ideal honestly (white, thick, gorgeous face, feminine) but she seems to be in a slump. She compares herself to her (thin) friends often and doesn't know how to proceed. I think in her group she's always been the "heavier" girl. She's NOT fat, but if she keeps going where she was in the relationship then she would be overweight and without passion. I believe we can all be "woken up"; hell, I was. I was 140lbs soaking wet junior year of high school, beta, depressed, you name it. Now I'm 210lbs, strength training, reading, and depression free.

I guess my point is I'm seeing what she COULD be if she followed her heart, instead of letting her emotions bog her down.

[–]abdada0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't see your break up as a wake up call. She likely tried dating around and decided it's best to fake inspiration to branch swing back to you.

Will it last?

What a risk, IMHO.

[–]Gigalo_Jones1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

She won't be changing for herself. She would be changing for you, and she will come to resent you for it. She needs to want it for herself, also. If she isn't doing it for her, she will never achieve what it is.

It's the same as trying wake a blue pill. You already said your peace, now it's out of your hands. My advice, keep moving on. Out there somewhere is someone who is already less drama and doesn't need to be taught like a child. Go find that girl and have fun.

[–]Z28D0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm breaking one of my rules and asking her directly. If she's doing it for me, I'll ask why. If she's doing it for herself and herself only, then I'll give her a chance, but she'll have to prove it to me. I don't want her to resent me, I don't want to have to FORCE her to succeed, I don't own her. I'll be fine without her, but I can see myself growing with the best version of herself by my side, if that makes any sense.

She's still immature. If I sense that it's pointless, I've already dropped her, there's nothing to lose for me.

[–]thenarrrowpath0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I texted her. Her response? "who is this?"

"Who is this?", yea hell no. You aren't the only one she wants to talk to.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Put a summary up top and lessons learned at the bottom. Follow the format instructions in the announcement:

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a0135/announcement_new_thread_requirements/

Here's a good example of what we're looking for:

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a0ggu/the_average_american_woman_now_weighs_as_much_as/

[–]The_BeardedGentleman -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

no.

She wanted to write, she wanted to lose weight, she wanted

This will never change unless some crazy life altering event happens to her. Been there done that. And no, some rando guy from tinder who she had a fling with isnt a life altering event.

You'll put up with it for a short time again, the frustration will build up again, and youll make her go the way of ole yeller again.

Just find a new plate.

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