Background and TRP stuff befor my question, just for conversations sake: Would be interested in chatting about any of this/receiving any tips.

  • I was raised by a very strong mother. Absolutey the embodiment of a bluepill woman. She brainwashed me in to being the most unbelievably bluepill beta you could imagine (not exagerating. Love notes, singing love songs, changing my personality, serving them like a waiter).
  • I Moved out from her house at 14 because something just felt -off- about the life I was living. One thing she did well was to always analyse, and always have an open mind. So I got out of there to live with my father (himself a gigantic beta). This contrast of seeing a beta dad living with his mum still, my own background lead to...
  • Moved out on my own at 18 with some friends. Started to find my masculinity, my confidence and manhood. I am now 24.
  • I have been with 4 girls sexually. Each time they simply walked in to my life and jumped on the dick.
  • I am very physically fit, and would describe my looks at 7/10
  • I read and understand seddit. When I am bored and motivated I can very easily move from approaches to escalation and kino. I can normally k-close before even kino with my sort of 'don't care' attitude.
  • History of depression during my late teen years during this red-pill swallowing change, might explain some of the apethy

My problem is I am in some way autistic and social interactions EXHAUST me. I am also fairly lazy unless I have a passion for it, and frankly female behaviour I despise so much, that unless it's an easy grab, my mind just refuses to put up with their nonsense for a bit of wet hole.

So how do I... Well how do I start having more drive to interact, go out, get motivated, get energized, get pumped etc etc etc? (BTW I am *VERY** physically fit)* I'm worried that If I can't get motivated to put up with female crap soon, that I will miss all the young holes and regret it at 30 when i'm stuck with dried up 'wall' smacked girls.