If marriage means I’m under a woman’s thumb, being monitored, her terms, she approves my actions and choices, then I have no interest in marriage. Perhaps there’s a woman I may find who I’m willing to go into an LTR or marriage with, but I’m not optimistic. It’s not AWALT for nothing. I’m wary.

I won’t give up my terms in any such relationship. I finally understand what it means to hold my terms in an LTR. I’m basically a tamed house pet when I surrender to her frame and her terms. She dictates the tenor of the relationship. I’ve experienced women in a relationship with me on their terms. It’s a problem that only gets worse over time. The corrective behaviour needed to happen before the LTR started.

Any man considering an LTR better know his terms, or he’s screwed from the start. There’s some things a man must do to maintain the relationship in a healthy state. Holding to his terms is one of them.

One of my terms is that I am the only person who gets to put anything on my schedule. Anyone else, including my woman, must ask for my approval to schedule me into something. When something is on my schedule, it stays unless I decide to change it. I don’t go cancelling things because my woman doesn’t like it, or has changed her mind.

I don’t need my woman’s approval for what I put on my schedule. I don’t get off the hook and am free to do whatever I want whenever I want. I need to consider the impact of my choices against the health of my relationship. I have serious responsibilities around providing strong leadership, structure, and direction for my LTR. I don’t get to run away and play every night.

Another term is I am the leader of my relationship. Means I never take a submissive position under any circumstance relative to my woman. When she starts ordering me around, the short answer is no. I do not need her approval for my choices and actions. That also means I live with the consequence of those choices and actions.

Think about this. How many men have no idea what their terms are, and end up deferring to their woman far more times than is healthy. Think about what are your terms long before you get on the slippery path to an LTR. Expect her to test your terms for weaknesses. Even if you haven’t thought about your terms as a man, you’ll feel it in your gut when she’s violated one of them.

A word of caution. Don’t go telling your woman your terms. Live them. She will figure out pretty quick What they are if you’re living them.

What are your terms?