Today is a big day for me and i feel like i have to write this to get closure, i dont care what you think about this post. Also im writing this while drunk so you know this is honest.

When i finished high school i was depressed cause i got shit grades even though i knew that i was at least as smart as my class mates if not smarter. I had a shitty social life and shitty grades, i had literally nothing going for me, and i knew that it was my fault. About 4 years ago maybe earlier I discovered theredpill by accident by going through a redditors history, i began reading all of the posts here but i could never really internalize it.

Through the two years after i finished high school i learned a lot about myself. I've had different jobs but throughout those jobs i've done a lot of reflecting. I've always wondered why i was so weak, why nothing was going right for me and why no girl would ever want me. What my weaknesses were, how i differ from an alpha/redpilled male.

I realised, how could someone else ever want me if i don't even want myself? When i look in the mirror I don't see a person who matches how i want other people to view me. All i see is weakness. But that's what theredpill is all about, realise that everything you thought was right is wrong, you think you're good enough but you're not, you can always be better. Internalise the red pill, embrace it and let it become a part of you. If your frame is strong other people will become a part of it, and your sense of self will grow.

2 days ago is when the red pill really set it's roots in me. I read a post on asktrp and someone in the comments said "just search for hypergamy on youtube" so i did and i have to say no post on here could've redpilled me anymore than this. I am thankful to whoever wrote that comment you have changed my life.

Today i finished a course that will make me able to go to my dream university and i finished it with top grades so yeah go me. I went out drinking with my friends afterwards, just having a good time and throughout the night i suddenly realised something. I had always been jealous of other people for being able to have a lot of friends or being able to have girlfriends, but as the night went on i found out these people all had weak as fuck frames. Even the people i thought were popular or good with girls had weak frames.

Tonight I did my first ever cold approach at a bar. I've never approached a girl before. I didn't care what my friends thought or what the girl would think i just went up to talk to her. Talked to her, played an arcade game and danced with her and her friends. After i danced with them you know what i did? I straight up left her, cause i found her boring. I learned a lot from that interaction like for example i should've probably escaleted more with kino and gotten her alone from her friends (I don't know if there is a word for it but it's like girls are ultra-unapproachble if they are groups cause their friends are slutshaming or something). Girls are everywhere and i can always talk to another one. The important thing is that first step.

When you have a strong frame, you are the author of your own future. You are the main character of your story. Other people will enter your frame, admire you for being the main character (taking control).

I've made peace with my past today by visiting the two places where my biggest regrets lie. Even though it might sound stupid i thanked those places for the lessons i've learned and for making me what i am today. Despite me going through shit like being homeless for over a year i wouldn't have it any other way, it made me what i am today.

Today is a new chapter of my life. I am headed in a new direction that I and only I am in control of.

I won't be visiting theredpill or reddit for that matter and will instead be working on myself by cold approaching in the day, working out, and finishing the recommended books here, so these are my final words.

Thank you theredpill