I've been reading TRP for a while and I see a lot of people speaking about LTRs. I think that it is worth clarifying something. Marriage is intended to be a lifelong relationship. No man gets married with the intention of divorcing later. Women, barring the occassional gold-digger do not do so either.

Most divorce stems from people assuming that their LTR is a lifelong relationship when it is not.

Here's some evolutionary biology. When two people get together and start a relationship, a neurochemical symphony begins. Sparks fly. That symphony has an expiration date. Researchers have found that it tends to last more or less four years, which just happens to be the amount of time it takes to fall in love, get someone pregnant, and raise a child to age two. After four years the sparks fade and the relationship will fall apart unless there is something else to keep it together.

Often people will date two years, think, "hey, we've been together for two years, lets' get married!" They do so, and then two years later they're divorced because they've "grown apart". It's predictable, almost like clockwork.

If the couple stays together, it is for one of three reasons. Either the couple is co-dependent, the husband and wife need each other's support to live their lives, social and religious obligation prevent separation, or there is a deeper foundation to the relationship than sex.

  1. Codependency generally isn't a recipe for happiness, so people rebel against that. It's been happening for a while, and it makes sense. Codependency flies in the face of a sense of liberty. The result is that the state has stepped in to become the provider for a woman in the case of divorce and/or to force the man to continue providing after the separation. The man receives no support from the loss of traditional sources of support the wife would provide in this case (running the household.) Yay for liberation! Marriage broken. Shitty for the man. Less shitty for the wife.

  2. Social or religious obligation. In some countries, you are looked down upon if you are divorced. You are a dissapointment to your family. People stay together because it keeps society going. Marriage used to be about uniting families. Not so much anymore. In this case, a married couple might be out of love, but they continue on as life partners. Marriage begins with love and ends with duty. Many happily married couples with children are in this box. It's not a bad place to be as a man. With duty comes honor. This is a life worth living.
    The social acceptance of divorce undermines this fabric that is the basis of our society. Since the advent of modern advertising, we have been sold sex and see sex as the key to happiness. A dead bedroom is a dead life. We obsess over sex. In other cultures it is not the case. In Japan, a husband and wife who have outgrown each other sexually is considered normal and healthy (at the same time, sex outside marriage is not so frowned upon). An LTR is still about sex. If you're thinking about a lifelong relationship, realize that it is absolutely not about the sex. Essentially these relationships are ok and can be loving and happy, but modern culture has taught us to be dissatisfied with this arrangement.

  3. The third thing that keeps couples together is a shared higher purpose. These are people who really are a true match. They share the same passions and support each other in the pursuit of these passions. These are people who can come together and make dreams come alive, with synergy. These are relationships where there is a captain and first mate who are together on a mission of life. These are the redpill lifelong relationships where the energy is maintained. The bedroom stays passionate because life is passionate. If such a relationship comes to an end, it is generally smooth. Mission accomplished or failed, man and woman going seperate ways, with gratitude and well-wishing, one for the other. The redpill instructs you to develop yourself so that you can have this sort of relationship.