I'm in a LTR in which I've been much too beta. I've been trying to ease in some RP slowly to take some of the power back. My gf is Taiwanese and I don't think its a lost cause partly because her culture tells her to be submissive, I just need to step up more, but she has started to get a bit of a sense of entitlement, and pushing boundaries I've already made clear.

A little while ago there was a knock on the door, she tells me its her sister, I usually joke around with her little sister so I open the door a little, say "nope" and close the door again.

This startled my gf because she thought it may have been her father who everyone in her family is hiding from as her parents are getting divorced and he was abusive to the mother, acting really crazy after she left, and she's worried about him finding us (I know its a red flag, but good luck finding an Asian girl without daddy issues), and when she realized I was joking she was upset and said "fuck You".

This was a first after almost 2 years together and I knew that I couldn't let this one go. I wanted to yell, but instead I said, sternly but without raising my voice "What did you just say to me?"

her: "You know how much I hate my father, I thought it was my father"

me: "This isn't about that. I was joking with your sister, and you misunderstood. If I spoke like that to you, you would not think its ok. You WILL NOT speak to me like that again."

She looked like she was going to cry, and gave me a half hearted sorry, but considering I put her in her place in front of her sister and her sis's bf I didn't press it further.

After her sister left I found her crying in a spare room. She was upset about something her sister had said about their family situation, the death of her cat yesterday, and my having scolded her. I said I was sorry things are kind of rough right now, but I'm not sorry for saying what needed to be said, no matter what else is happening I expect to be treated with respect, and that she had crossed the line. She didn't challenge this or make any exuses, so I let her cry on me for a while, and as I've come to expect, she initiated sex a little while later.

I felt like I handled it better than I would have a few months ago, before reading all this RP stuff but also that I might have been a little too easy on her. Maybe I should have withheld sex? Called her out on her insincere apology? I'm not sure how I should have handled it.