I'm 39, recently divorced. I'm secure financially, but I live in a heavily liberal city that's dominated by tech, which means they're flying in single guys from around the world for programming and animating and etc. So it's five guys to every girl here, and EVERY guy's secure financially. I'm a funny successful guy, I work out.

Problem is, all the people my age have kids. They're all busy, have their own priorities. I hang out with people in their twenties, I get to feel old. I flirt like hell, and still get fourth-wave feminism about how gross it is that I might want to date someone younger than me. Add in the accelerated ageing associated with the internet era, and it's ridiculous. I hang out with people in their 20s and I feel like their dad. I hang out with people my own age and I can't, because they're onto some new era in their lives I'm not a part of. I go out on dates with girls in their 30s, and it's with fat broken women with two kids. It's like they're going out on a date with me because it's this or nothing.

It's hard not to feel like a man out of time -- like I should have been born fifty years ago, where being smart and successful and 39 would make me a catch. It feels like I was supposed to have a wife and kids by now, and by NOT having kids or a wife at 39, I'm like a video game character who's watched everyone around him level up, and now I'm like a Level 39 game character who's still emotionally stuck on Level 27.

I read an article recently about how suicides in the US are 3-1 males to females; and of those males, most are white, middle-aged and divorced.

What the hell? How many crunches do you have to do before you realize you're an old guy competing with 20-year-olds? I'm not trying to be self-defeating, I get it, I get it: Get ripped. Get confident. But come ON. At some point, you're just not YOUNG anymore, no matter how buff you are. What the hell do you DO when you're almost 40 and every other almost-40 you know is married with children, and all the people in your position socially are like 27 and think you're a dinosaur? What do you do when it's not 1972 anymore and the cliche about old-ass Sean Connery nailing 20-year-olds doesn't work in feminist 2016? What do you do when you're stuck in a social circle where nobody your age is where you are in life, and nobody younger than you is willing to date you unless they're broken?