A lot of us understand 'talking' thoroughly incorrectly with women. We mostly think of it as a conveying of information. And it is to a high degree in academia, which coincidentally is where we are raised in. We need to understand that talking is not what we think it is outside academia. It is merely an instrument of our minds.

Like all instruments, people will listen to it and even fall in love with it if it sounds nice. They will hate it if it sounds boring or out of tune. This is exactly the same with talking.

We should't seek to convey information in a fun environment, we should seek to make music. Tune we play is filled with emotional signals. Staccato, piano, forte, how you breathe, all form the musical note. Musicians learn how to play a the notes first, then they undergo a rough practice period to bring their emotion into their instruments.

Same thing applies to talking. We must first learn how to speak clearly, loudly, and articulately with confidence. Then comes the hard part: learning how to supercharge these words with emotion. Like an artist we play with different expressions, figuring out how to convey which with what. First, change your paradigm of what talking is. Then perfect your instrument and find out how to express emotions with it.