There sometimes seems to be a contradiction in some aspects of alpha beta polarity. eg, if a girl cheats on you, you might next her having strong boundaries which is an alpha trait. but the very concept of alpha says you have to not care about her at all and not get jealous or angry or butthurt which is a strong beta tell. Is it just recognizing the situation or emotion and taking action on it and enforcing boundary instead of not changing it and bitching and whining that is beta?

Is it internal openness and externally rigid that is true alpha and appearing open outside but having covert rigid contracts that is beta?

Sometimes it confuses the hell out of me, is it a strong silent assertive guy who has standards for women and will not go out of his way to woo women and has a stern and serious attitude and following his own mission in life is alpha or the opposite?

Being outgoing, social and all that fake meaningless conversation and small talk showing off himself and laughing at all the bullshit people say, cracks jokes, makes fun of himself, dances etc? that is alpha? bcoz even though this guy may look like he has his game, he may be a bluepill chump.

or is it all dependent on your looks? or is a natural spectrum of whether you are an extrovert or an introvert?

These two archetypes are some of the most contradictory. Bcoz a man of standards need not appear outgoing and charismatic, infact a beta following game looks like the most charismatic. He may sit alone in his basement silently and play videogames, but he is the least probable to be silent in a social scenario. Even laws of power say Silence is a weapon, yet it is so contradictory. Is this the reason why women get irritated when they thought you were a fun loving cool guy but then find out you are a chump? Bcoz an alpha following his mission has the least incentive to appear fun loving and cool.