I'm in a LTR for over a year now, we both were virgins.

2-3 weeks in the relationship she wanted a vibrator (by that time we'd have sex 2-3 times), I was a bit taken back (namely because it was my first relationship and felt emasculated) but played it cool and realized internally I shouldn't act like a bitch and should think of it as a new experience and thought I will get to use it on her anyways. She even said she'll use it the first time when we meet, used it on her, she climaxed with it. And from there on we'd use it every now and then but together only (she wanted to only 'experience' it with me). Most of the time she would overthink during sex, so she'd never had an orgasm with me once from penetration.

I know I shouldn't be that concerned about giving her an orgasm since sex is more of an psychological experience for women and so that's what I set my mind to, I even started to enjoy using it on her.

Then last weekend she went to visit family in another state, and texted me how now she's starting to use the vibrator solo for the first time and it's feeling so good/amazing/etc to the point she even had her first vaginal orgasm solo (before with me it only be clitoral) and went in depth describing it and how much wet she is but still how she's 'thinking about our playtime' when using it and how much she misses me, etc. While I reacted unfazed and teased her and joked about it with her, inside, to put it bluntly I felt incredibly inadequate, unmanly and just lost that spark for her after hearing that, I suffer from a bit of ED (she doesn't know but I use a very low dose of 15mg viagra and am hard as a rock but she is aware of my death grip trouble since once in while I do get soft inside her, and recently I even stopped using viagra with her and am able to perform and finish without it). The solo experiences she shared makes me feel that at the end of the day I'm just the rock/emotional/'boyfriend experience', while she's getting her actual peak pleasure and needs met from a vibrator. The most intense pleasure she can feel, and I'm not even giving or sharing it with her. I feel like knowing this now would only make me perform worse till either I walk away to save my ego or she does as I'm not feeling it anymore and my replies and phones calls just aren't the same.

I'm self aware enough to realize I have oneitis, and I realize I shouldn't give a fuck if she uses it solo, but I still do.

Are my thoughts rational? Is it normal to feel this way about an LTR using a vibrator on her own? I'll probably get over this too but wanted to rant and just get some thoughts at the same time.

And I like being in a dating LTR(but not live-in or marriage), I find no interest or desire in ONS/plates/etc. The relationship itself is good, I'm cocky and 'high energy', fun to be around with/etc,..and she even picked out a fleshlight for my solo sessions to help with my death grip (which I told her I don't want it as I don't want to fap alone anymore) so she does care about my pleasure and always makes sure I finish, etc.