I've battled major depression and anxiety during law school and struggled to pass the bar exam, after switching through multiple antidepressants and adhd meds and an anti-anxiety, I decided to quit two of them and I noticed an increase in vulnerability and emotional capacity which also made me slightly more beta but family and friends call it human. I also lost 45 pounds coming off rexulti and effexor xr but now also lift much less in the gym unless it's just winter and my career circumstances.

When I had these emotions blunted before on effexor xr and rexulti, I didnt care as much about anything but it was beneficial for attracting women and working out like a machine every morning. however, currently getting my MBA on scholarship money I live off of and dont have a job lined up until next spring as a scout for a professional sports team, so sitting home at the moment without a current job takes its toll more now than it did. The sports job next spring has been something I wanted for years and im trying to occupy my time until then but cant get a job in the mean time for whatever reason past 6 weeks.

Was I just attracting hot sluts when I blunted my emotions and didnt care? according to my friends that was the case until I came off effexor xr and rexulti which were the 2 antidepressants i was on and now I'm on wellbutrin xl for post-ssri sexual side effects, adderall xr 25 mg for adhd and low dose anti-anxiety alprazolam for withdrawals and severe anxiety.

After being off the two antidepressants the past 5 weeks I did have a fling with a quality woman but she was coming out of a 5 year engagement so maybe she had red flags as well. when i slept with with her, it was one of my worst sexual performances compared to before. she bailed cause I'm only getting my mba living off that money at the moment until my sports job next spring and cant get anything here right now and also not sure I should retake the bar exam.

I genuinely believe emotions do make you weak and I truly didnt give AF about anything on those meds before, but maybe coming off them and finding root causes is a better solution which hasnt worked yet. Maybe the practice of law isnt for me and I'm just becoming more aware of my circumstances, but the correlation between not caring/blunted emotions leading to attracting more women and getting more sex seems to be a real thing for whatever reason.

I also do come from a broken single mother home and I'm just trying to figure out if it's better to stay off those old antidepressants and try to fix my life now despite being more anxious, depressed, and not lifting as much (i did lose about 45 pounds though which was only reason I quit them besides some lethargy and wanting new career direction).

I wanted opinions from those of you who have had similar experiences on antidepressants or meds or going through professional schooling to find out maybe it isnt for you. Thank you in advance