High school graduate, 21 y/o, illegal immigrant, I'm on the path of self improvement. I've started lifting, and productive hobbies. But I'm severely lacking career orientation.

I like the idea of learning a trade but negative thoughts keep me from taking action. Particularly, I fear that I won't be able to get any decent job without a valid social.

Currently full time in the restaurant industry.

The only escape seems to be to condemn myself to the highest taboo in this community, and even that doesn't seem an easy task.

Or I could self deport and accept never being able to come back to US. This is a valid option, however I'm hesitant due to poverty, murder and communist president.

Advice appreciated