I move into my college rez tomorrow for my first year. I have an extremely difficult time with self confidence. I lift 4x a week dress well and have made considerable changes in my physique. My problem is speaking loudly and in my regular deep voice. I believe this stems back to my childhood of being screamed at by my father for opening my mouth (and my mom trying to defend me) and being told I was wrong regardless of the truth(would use Google to back up my statements when he would say I'm and idiot and when proven myself correct I was punished for doing so "undermining my authority"), as well as having horrible cystic acne. I have taken medication lost the acne worked my ass off and saved up enough to move out. But I still talk in a high pitched pussy voice and avoid eye contact like the plague. At dinner my father stares me down until I look down and be quiet and the puffs his chest(I stare back since discovering TRP) and has extrem beta tendencies in life. I do not aspire to be like him.

READ THIS IF NOTHING ELSE.

I had a childhood that crushed my self confidence and muted me. I have made considerable changes in my life/physique and ability to socialize. But still the second a high social ranking male(boss) or female interact with me I stare at the ground and sound like a bitch. Do I just need time to keep pushing or are there any steps I can use to combat this.

I do not want sympathy. I consider it my fault for looking down as a kid when confronted by parental figures.