Hey Guys,

i’m relatively new to this whole TRP stuff so don’t be that hard on me. I’ve been lurking for a while now, been reading the sidebar and following the most popular posts. Just a short warning: English is not my native language.

I have some questions regarding dealing with a breakup. My LTR of almost 8 years broke up with me about a month ago via textmessage. Shit happened out of the blue for me. No contact since then. Deleted her number and got rid of her on every social media. She was my first girlfriend (im 23 now).

Things i implemented since then:

  • Started to take lifting seriously (Doing the 6 day PPL right now)
  • Meditating every morning
  • Changed my style to a more masculine one (wearing boots instead of sneakers etc.)
  • Trying to get better at my job everyday

Things im struggling with:

  • Putting on weight, i’ve been a skinny boy my whole life, im 5‘6“ and weighing 112lbs
  • Related to that is my self-esteem. It’s crushed. My mind keeps telling me ill have to put on some weight first before getting out there and meeting new people because nobody wants a skinny AND small dude.
  • Everything i do like changing my style, going to the gym etc. is fueled by the thought of revenge. Im not doing it for myself.

So here are my specific questions:

  1. Should i get heavy into lifting first and putting on some weight before going out or should i immediately start to go out even when the chances are pretty low to find a girl that is attracted to my stature?
  2. How to get comfortable with my height? It’s my biggest insecurity. Sometimes i feel like im less of a man because of it. I guess my height together with my weak stature is the reason for her leaving me.
  3. Is it even a problem that everything is fueled by the thought of revenge? Ive read on this subreddit its very important to do everything for yourself and not for someone else. But as much as i try it i can’t change my mindset. Is it something that naturally shifts as i learn to not give a fuck about her anymore? Or do i have to actively do something against it?
  4. Thoughts of her fucking another dude are killing me inside. Should i dwell on these thoughts until they dont hurt me anymore or should i try to distract myself?
  5. Im still waiting and hoping everyday for her to write me a textmessage explaining everything and come crawling back. Even if i know it would not changing anything. How to cope with thoughts like that? How to close this chapter and move on?
  6. Thought about picking up a MMA/BJJ class for confidence, meeting new people and athleticism but im worried its stunting my weight gain. What are your thoughts on that?

Thank you guys beforehand for being part of my journey.

Cheers!