Basically sparks were flying for about a month she pursued me. This was the stage where i guess she was self stimulated emotionally because she wasnt quite sure she fully had me she even almost broke it off because she was scared of being hurt i said she was stupid and she instantly jumped right back into my arms in a matter of hours.(This i understand now was my best mode)

Fast forward to now i woke up to a text being broken up with xmas morning i could feel her distance for 2-3 days before this happened and had a feeling it was coming but put it down to her period and depressed mood. I bought into the "i dont like to play games" meme it was too good and too perfect "monotone" after about a month basically she said there were no arguments and that it was weird and actually shes right ive only started to come to this realisation after browsing these subs for a little while since this has happened.
There were no arguments because anything she could do to start a problem i would diffuse by altering my own behaviour instead of giving a boundary and telling her to lump it or leave it.
Anyway obviously i straight away went into how do i deal with this how do i get her back mode(only for self validation) i cant really be with a girl like her she is easy an addict and im no saint either one of us needs to be somewhat stable.

I decided to fake it til i make it i instantly moved on and portrayed that through social media other girls called me handsome and i refused to care and made her be friends with me i did what i fear the most being used as an emotional crutch i did a very feminine thing i tried to turn the tables on her and it worked before she wanted me to watch her live her best life with a broken heart but i switched roles on her faster than she could so she got very nasty with me and i finally got confrontational with her what i assume she was missing i told her shes got another thing coming if shes going to be hostile with someone whos been nothing but nice to her and that if she cant cope with her fucking things up with me(framed it as she lost a prize) then she needs to block me and stop trying to make some bullshit out of nothing. Assertive what i wish i had done earlier anyway she apologised and said that she wont be like that then she tried to be "mature" and deal with seeing me everywhere on social media but a very short while later she had blocked me.

NOW i have to say this has made me feel super validated i feel like she is missing me, sad, regretful and its finally started to wash the pain of this heartbreak the worse ive ever experienced. This was 3 years after zero interaction with women because i had a psychotic break i am only young 24 good looking but definitely a soft pathetic bitch when i get comfortable jus wanna thank the sub but also leave with questions:

  1. Am i justified in feeling validated by this or is it cope?
  2. Is there a way to stimulate women with drama and arguments and maintain stoicism?
  3. How the fuck do you sustain the spark with dopamine addicts in a LTR?
  4. can you be too logical/stoic> every time she tried to start a confrontation i diffused it so quickly it never got off the ground to be able to stimulate this excitement she really wanted

tl:dr - wasnt willing to take an L payed for it. Still super down feeling pathetic have no real support structure and even though i thought knew everything i still let her convince me she was different