Charismatic Asshole

blackedoutfast · 2018-01-29T08:22:15+00:00

it's all about making the other person feel good

people don't feel good around charismatic people because the charismatic person is being nice and giving them compliments and shit.

charisma comes in many different forms, but essentially it's all about frame control. the charismatic person is so absolutely sure of their frame that everyone else has no choice but to go along with it. when you hear about how Steve Jobs had a "reality distortion field" around him, this is what that refers to. for people inside that bubble, he had complete control of the frame so well that for all intents and purposes, his frame was reality.

people often feel good about being around charismatic people who are assholes because they're in the presence of such an important, influential person.

when Steve Jobs cussed out an intern for whatever, the intern wasn't thinking "what a dick, I just made an honest mistake, his actions were completely uncalled for" they were thinking "holy shit i'm an intern for Steve-Fucking-Jobs, a living legend and technological revolutionary, this man is changing the world and I just screwed up so bad that he is cussing me out, OMG I need to work 10x as hard from now on and never disappoint him again." it's possible to feel bad on one level because someone is treating you like shit, but also feel good on a different level because you're part of something big and important.

a lot of it comes down to what the charisma is being used for. Steve Jobs wasn't using his charisma to get people to like him, he DGAF if they liked them, his goal was to create his vision of the future and he just wanted people to do what he wanted. Compare that to someone like a charismatic politician who does want potential voters feel good in his presence so they will like him and then donate money and vote for him in the election.

Ou-tis · 2018-01-29T08:41:20+00:00

It's not a simple topic. Define "feel good" for example: sometimes a woman don't "feel good" if you treat her in the way she tell you or she/you think is a good way but she "feel good" if you give her nothing. How to be charismatic for everyone is the topic of numeous book,try some of them.

Title	Charismatic Asshole
Author	GeniusBruiser
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	January 29, 2018 1:01 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7tomzq/charismatic_asshole/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/charismatic-asshole.122918 https://theredarchive.com/post/122918

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