Complete social failure, help drastically needed

MattyAnon · 2021-05-31T00:09:02+00:00

Every social group I have been a part of, I always end up being sidelined and effectively kicked out of eventually

This is unfortunate. SOMETIMES this happens because you don't fit..... it doesn't always work. SOMETIMES is ok.

But you say it always happens. This means either you pick out awful social groups, or you are the problem.

I am naturally pretty quiet and reserved due to former bullying which likely comes across as low value

Learn to talk more. If you're quiet, people will interpret this as you not liking them.

However I have been told on many occasion that I am funny and can always make people laugh when I actually open my mouth.

Learn not to hide behind being the joker. This is a crutch. It's great to be the joker SOMETIMES, but it's not the basis of social interaction.

Currently in an LTR with a below avg girl, I got with her out of convenience, scarcity and low self esteem. Now about 9 months in and I can confidently say that her attraction has waned, (not complaining, it is what it is) I am expecting to be cucked/dumped soon, when it happens I won’t be hurt, we keep it gangsta.

Look for better options NOW.

thinking going absolutely balls to the walls with improving my looks (body, hair, beard, fashion) should allow me to force my way into some groups somehow?

Well, no.

You should looks-max, because it opens a lot of doors and makes things easier with...... well..... everything.

But forcing your way into some groups somehow....... no, it doesn't work like that.

People form friendships with people who share a similar vision to them. Similar life interests, similar values. Groups like people who further the survival, aims and values of the group.

It's not clear from your post what you're doing wrong. Do you like people? Do you have time for them? Do you enjoy their company.

The only thing wrong I see in your post is "force your way into.....". You don't force anything. People like you or they don't, and you don't force anything.

What do you think is going wrong for you ?

AshyLarry27 · 2021-05-31T15:50:32+00:00

Focusing on your physique is a great start. As for your personality, open up more. You obviously get positive responses for your sense of humor . . . you know when you actually start talking. I've been there. Don't be afraid to say things. Try practicing just talking to people more and joking around. One classic trick is to look up some old Cary Grant movies, this guy was like the original smooth James Bond. He was a part of a lot of classic stuff, but the way he goes about his interactions might be more ideal for someone like you who is more naturally introverted like him and the silent-confident Bond-type.

Know that in university most people are naturally nicer and social. They've left most of their high school connections and are ready to actually see and meet new people outside the same group they knew from when they were kids. University is a fresh chance to press the "reset" button and look for people you mesh with. Look for school groups, sports-rec at the gyms, find things where you actually get to meet people at. This can lead to parties and going out to the bar as you get closer to these people.

Title	Complete social failure, help drastically needed
Author	IM_BACK_THE_BOYS
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	May 30, 2021 6:16 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/noh06q/complete_social_failure_help_drastically_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/complete-social-failure-help-drastically-needed.774214 https://theredarchive.com/post/774214

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