Long time lurker here. Listen to my tale, which illustrates many game fundamentals and shows that love can fuck with the most seasoned pro. My main question is - who's the alpha here?

THE BACKSTORY

Had been crushing on a girl for some time at work. HB9, 29 (that dying pre-wall phase), we've always been flirty. HB9 if constantly hit on by everyone in the office; she's an ex stripper with the body and wardrobe of a model. She's in a 6-year LTR with a Chad, who's probably higher SMV than me: mid-40s, jacked, MMA hobby, rich. But socially awkward, a try-hard Instagram influencer with only 500 followers. I'm more of a Jack Nicholson type - out of shape player who's a rising star at work, popular, breaks the office rules, also rich, cocky jerk, notorious womanizer etc. She basically worked for me so work was a great situation to DHV - situational alpha if you will. Nothing got her going more than seeing me ream someone out for a mistake.

Flash forward to about six months of us working together. We're both out with colleagues when I call bullshit on her, that she's into me with all the flirting. We both confess to crushing on each other and make out but are both drunk, nothing else happens. The next night we fuck each other's brains out, she says she's falling in love with me. I get the backstory on her bf: cheating on her for years, never proposed ti her. Alpha widow alert goes off. I tell her to break it off with this guy if she wants to keep seeing me because I don't share. After a few nights together I'm hooked on her, really falling in love. Haven't felt it in years, have a 100+ N count and a 5-6 girl rotation, but know that oneitis is setting in.

A few days later she breaks it off with him but then asks for exclusivity from me. Branch swingers gonna swing. I agree, which is obviously a huge mistake for my hand. But I say fuck it, let's take love for its wild ride. Things are going strong for the first month. She's non-stop texting and bantering, complimenting how attractive I am and how good the sex is, she wants to look at apartments together, introduces me to all her friends, takes 100 couples photos together, and we plan a week-long vacation.

After a month she meets the ex to return things etc. The ex has something else on his mind and proposes to her. You can't make this up. She declines but when we talk about it, it's clear she's seriously considering it. This is where I should have ended things - alpha widow status confirmed. Instead, we have wild animal sex and go on vacation together. The praise for my prowess is effusive on this trip and I try to put her doubts out of my mind. Worst comes to worst, it's only my turn. Six weeks of even bulletproof game are hard to compare to six years, and my heroin-like love binge has me careening in all sorts of beta directions.

Back from vacation, things start getting hectic. She's leaving our mutual office for a new job so we see each other a bit less frequently. The red flags / alpha widow tells start popping up with greater frequency. Less communicative on text, not spending the night regularly after we have sex, keeping up photos of the ex on social media. I confront her about the photos - essentially saying look, if you're expecting a monogamous relationship with me you need to cut this and move on, otherwise I'm staying on dating apps and doing my thing. This was a beta move of me, appearing threatened/jealous by old profile pics and attempting to negotiate desire (which can never be negotiated) - but for me it's just a sign of respect and, as we shall see, a key tell. She basically refuses in a fight about it. I tell her what she's saying is that she respects her ex more than me by keeping these pics up. She agrees. After hearing these words I end things and cut all contact.

About a week later a gift from her arrives at my place. I text thanks and say nothing else.

10 days later she shows up to a mutual friend's party trying to get me back. She explains the little plan she set in motion to make sure we were both at this thing, she shows up with love letters and pics of us and all kinds of stuff. I hear those promises to change - that in the past few weeks she's finally processing the end of the relationship I stole her away from, is in therapy, respects me more than him, "im not in love with him, im in love with you." Etc. Never having pulled a woman straight out of a real long LTR before I say why not, worth another shot, Im still in love. On the break, ofc, I've seen 2 MLTRs and a new prospect, HB8, a couple times. That night we have some wild sex, and I tell her I've been seeing this other girl and overshare a bit on the details (there's an Iron Rule of Tomassi to not do this).

But in the next week or so, nothing really changes. She hasn't taken down those profile pics. She's distant about spending the night. Finally I try to break things off again but my sex drive gets the better of me and we reconcile in bed. Her departing words are "that's the single best orgasm I've had in my entire life." We get dinner after. Perhaps this will work out!

That weekend she goes away on a girls' trip. Red flag- all girls' trips. Best case she uses the time away to ruminate on the relationship, worst case she cheats. Like clockwork, she goes radio silent Saturday night and Sunday (after typically checking in every night to make sure I'm not sleeping with someone else). I figure, here we go. We have a call and she's gone monotone. I figure things are over and I end them again. I explain that she's not giving me what I want to earn monogamy or my love long term, she hasn't made an effort to fix things and the damage is probably irreparable anyway based on her past ex issues. Rule - always leave first when you spot the signs she's going dark.

In the day or so after I feel those regrets. Maybe I can turn this around? Am I overreacting to some tells that I basically shouldn't worry about as I stick to my mission? Is losing love worth it? Hamstering. I send a love poem, then renege and double down on the breakup. Then another 10 days of no contact.

Finally, I see on social media - she's engaged to the ex. Hah, I chuckle, AWALT. Not ten days have elapsed between the best orgasm of her life and her professions of love to me, and her acceptance of the ex back. I shoot a text - "hah. at least I know I'm not crazy". She responds with a flurry of calls that night. Feeling deep in the throes of wasted love and bourbon, I answer. This girl is losing her mind. Can't really explain why she did this, says she's still in love with me, she made a mistake, will I fight for her? And she invites me over to fuck. I decline, we talk for a bit. She follows up to thank me for talking to her and can we get a drink later and maybe fuck?

THE DECISION

Do I (a) cut off all contact (don't root through trash!); (b) smash and then cut off all contact (ego boost, revenge); (c) succumb to blue pill rom com fantasies and win her back? On the one hand, alpha widow, disrespectful, she's verbalized her choice; on the other hand, the powers of love, she keeps coming back to me for sex notwithstanding everything thats happened. Ofc, can you ever trust someone like this? I already know the answer.

THE QUESTION

Who is more alpha here, me or Chad? In my column: stole her away and she's offering to cheat again on her 5-day long engagement, we have better sex as she's said many times. In Chads column: higher smv, she did finally say yes to this proposal. But how beta do you have to be to drop $70k on a ring to win back the girl who left you for someone else?

Tldr - tfw you steal a girl away from her LTR but she's an alpha widow so you end it, the alpha ghost comes back and they get engaged, but she cheats on him with you anyway.