I'm not sure if I can get useful advice from TRP regarding this subject. I'm hoping a vet would see this post.

Context 1: I'll be direct. Traps feel better to fuck compared to women. With traps, I go there just to fuck. I enjoy the body with my eyes, hands, dick, etc and leave. As a bonus point, they are not entitled cunts, unlike most women today. With women, I go there and sometimes feel judged. Nature is judging me like I may not be enough to propagate my genes into the future. I also expect things from women. Like, validation I guess to feel like I am enough to propagate.. (that means I want them to show me with their actions how much they want me). And I want to connect with them, which means another potential judgement or disappointment if they turn out to be fucked in the head. Idk. There's also another thing. I want clean women. Like, if I'm gonna bond with her, she shouldn't be someone bad at bonding, because then it would be like being business partners with a hobo. Most women today are bad at bonding. That feels like lack of abundance. All these things add up.

Context 2 (a bit foolish rant/ideas): I wish I grew up in a mormon or amish community. Then I'd find a virgin woman with good values and good family bonds. I'd feel comfortable bonding with her, compared to almost all women that I see today. I want to find someone I can feel comfortable with bonding. That's literally all I want in terms of sex/dating/etc. Sex is cheap and abundant. I got some taste of it. Its nice but I want a bond. I can bond with a hoe but my body and everything in my body knows its the wrong thing. I don't think I'm afraid of getting hurt. I had some bad experiences, I am tougher than I thought.

Context 3: Why bond? I want a healthy relationship, a healthy home (home =/= house), and I want to have kids possibly. And also it is just what my body and my dick tells me to pursue. Literally sometimes my horny dick doesn't get hard because it wants to enter someone I bond with. That's how I interpret my actions. A small gesture of someone I actually value turns me on much more than anything I can get from a hb10 I don't bond with.

Internet and media taint everywhere they touch in terms of sex/family/relationships/raising kids. I need a woman who grew up in a community where this is common knowledge. Or something like that. Then I need to take that women and have her travel with me (which is what I'm doing, like, 4 countries per year) and keep her under my sight. When she's not under my sight, she'd be with her family, which would be for a few months per year. So her community would keep her checked or I would. I don't have ties to divorceraping countries so if she strays, I can kick her out easily.

I want to get what I want in life. This is one important thing I want. I will do anything to get it instead of wishing for it.

Got any useful pointers?