When my last (year long) LTR ended in April, I immediately threw myself to approaching other women and really putting TRP principles into practice for the first time. It worked, and I've banged five women since that happened. Obviously at the time I was depressed, angry, typical breakup feelings. In fact for about two, three weeks I felt like I wasn't there at all. Forcing myself to game other women at the time massively improved my mood and I had some good times to help get me over what was a pretty emotionally messy breakup. I even went on holiday to Europe with a plate and had a fantastic time! I gave myself time to process what had happened with the LTR. It was a slow death anyway.

So why am I having a second, really bad, surge of bad feelings about the ex? It's like it's coming in waves. In the past I was just normally constantly down about it until something happened to distract me from it. A few weeks back she messaged me a big long essay apologising and hoping I was ok. I took it for a load of bullshit platitudes, deleted the entire conversation history and blocked the bitch. I got on with shit and had a good time, with much credit due to this community for that. I'm doing better in the gym. I do have things to be proud of. I made my first cold approach resulting in a number (didn't go anywhere, but I was still proud I did it). I've improved considerably in the three months or so since I found myself single again. I have only to remember everything that was wrong with my ex, and how unfair and hard hearted she was while the relationship was on its last legs, to return myself to rational thought. The last few days that hasn't been working quite as well.

It doesn't help that a potential tinder date bailed on me at the weekend. She sounded really keen to meet up and then flaked on the day. Hot young thing, too. I just told her alright, no worries and have ghosted her since. Whatever. Went to see a local FWB instead. It's good to have that option right now as I never really had it before. Spinning plates with partial success. Fuck, Tinder is such a parade of misery.

Maybe I threw myself back into it too soon. Back to the drawing board.