I go to uni for CS but this year was the last drop in a bucket. I found that programming professionally is not for me and it makes me depressed in general. I also have health issues and they scare me...doctors can't find the cause but one of them is definitely depression that I was diagnosed with.

My issues also stem from the fact that parents never guided me to anything. Well, not exactly. I studied chemistry, biology, math at school and liked it. I had a chemistry teacher who told me I would make an excellent physician. I find myself reading blogs on nutrition, find diseases fascinating but at the same time, my interest might be coming from my health issues. I still would have opportunity to attend med school but in my current depressed state, uncertainty about what I want, I don't see how one can succeed. People in med school seemed to be completely certain of their path.

Finally, while CS degree is marketable and I find CS awesome, I don't like programming that much. In fact, if someone gave me 10M bucks, I would probably not write a line of code again. Currently, I am stuck in London doing internship I don't care about and wallow in depression and self-doubt. My performance review was not good because of my issues and I find not caring about it at all.

I believe to be seriously messed up human being. I need to tackle the depression but the only option doctor gave me is drugs/SSRIs. I also can't admit to my parents that I don't want to do programming. They wanted me to go to med school because they saw potential in me as a good doctor. I wasted so much of their money.

Dear members of TRP, I believe depression clouds my thinking. Could you help me in understanding next steps I can take?