Discussion on Passion versus Stability

noFunnyLoginsLeft · 2016-06-17T13:50:04+00:00

I've once heard an interesting theory.

Subconciously we want from our partners what our parents failed to give us. Be it freedom, love, attention or discipline.

Subconciously we seek partners who, like our parents, aren't able to give us this thing.

This is our brain's way of dealing with unresolved/open issues from our childhood. You either find a partner who doesn't want to give you that Thing, and through some process get that Thing from him...

...or you do some inner-journey mumbo-jumbo and get over it.

1NV0K3R · 2016-06-17T13:57:26+00:00

You've just reached the point where you've finally realized all women are inherently the same.

I am at the point too. Yeah having sex with a girl is great, sex with a new girl is even better, but all the lovey feely warm tonic feelings are gone because it's really just the same shit over and over again, just with a different outside template.

Some say it has to do with pair-bonding, how after multiple partners you can no longer have these intense feelings. Scientifically that's probably right. Personally, it's just a core fundamental of trp, AWALT.

amidtheflowers · 2016-06-18T10:34:29+00:00

If you grew up dysfunctionally, you will seek a relationship with an element of dysfunction. I regularly listen to an advice show co-headed by a doctor and he will often touch on this. In his words;"The pathology attracts".

I personally find this to be true. I've been in an LTR with a stable, balanced guy, but I didn't have the chemistry with him; I didn't have a purpose. I consider myself level headed but I am not attracted to "normal" men, due to my past. I knew instinctively early on that my ideal relationship was to nurture my mate, to fill in his f***ed up gaps, and he mine. Only recently have I had a clear picture of what that looks like.

If I don't feel those intense feelings right off the bat, is that a sign that I'm probably not a great long term match.

If you mean sensing your date's darkness right off the bat, I can empathize.

There's a chorus of "Find a girl with a good relationship with her father" on TRP, but the reality is that many men aren't cut out to LTR that type of girl, or would even be attracted to her, given the opportunity. You can be happy and fulfilled, don't write that off. You just need to find a woman who can nurture you, but you have to allow her to.

Title	Discussion on Passion versus Stability
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	June 17, 2016 1:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4oj7wh/discussion_on_passion_versus_stability/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/discussion-on-passion-versus-stability.185142 https://theredarchive.com/post/185142

Comments