Hello guys. About a month ago I posted about situation with "one particular girl", we were alone in her room, she wanted to have sex, I escalated and did everything right but stopped and left her wondering wtf am I doing.

Situation repeated itself this time it went even deeper so I fingered her, wrapped it up but I had this half-erection or whatever you call it and actually didnt want to fuck her. She actually asked me to proceed (that kinda threw me off my frame for a second) but I was fucking laughing inside at myself. Now I dont get whats my problem. Am I too much DGAF about life? Like I actually dont care about anything, maybe except how others perceive me. I think I did all this TRP self-improvement for others to think highly of me, but what the fuck do I actually want, I have no clue. Im earning good money for my age, i made new friends, im travelling abroad, i go to gym, I didnt quit alcohol totally yet but probably will, but whats the point if I dont wanna do what ultimately I was born into this world so fucking women and spreading my genes?

Now Im thinking it might be some problem with low testosterone or ED, as I had way harder boners few months ago and felt more energetic. Anyone relates to my situation or am fucked up beyong repair?