This post deals with erection problems where there is not a medical cause.

There have been posts recently from people asking about this where they could not get hard, usually on their first time, but not caused by medical causes. I have experienced this and I can say it is an extreme blow to ones ego and self perception.

My first time I had no awareness of my penis and its erect or not state. Didn't even enter my head.

It was after some party and I asked this chick for her number and she says I can come sleep in her bed. I do and we get naked and I roll on top of her and just crouch there waiting and she waits then realises I'm not sticking it in so she grabs it herself and sticks it in.

The next few times I have no mind on my erection. And no problems.

One day I'm about to do this basic bitch and refuse to remove my condom.

I swear I was stiff though I can't remember for sure.

Anyway the bitch gets on top and fumbles with my penis (I still wasn't putting it in myself because every lay just ended up doing it themselves and not saying anything to me about it) then she says she can't get it in.

I go what! And she tells me it's not stiff enough. I grab it and it feels stiff but now suddenly slightly soft. The bitch drew my attention to whether I was erect or not erect and suddenly I realised something. If I wanted to fuck, and I really really did, then i had to be stiff.

Shit. My penis just wilted.

I'm sure that fucking bitch did that on purpose.

Anyway I nearby don't end up fucking her but then I manage to get stiff again, by clearing my head. I go for a quick walk calm down stop being angry and come back and put her on her front and fuck her... (No condom by the way and she gives me clap).

The next few times I have sex with this girl I have erection problems. In the end I stop seeing her because she is a reminder of that blow. I think she did it on purpose because I wouldn't take off the condom.

I never had the problem again until years later when I couldn't get it up after trying some heroin.

But I have had discussions with my friends and some of them had the same problem but when they were first trying to lose their virginity. I told them it is normal and happens to lots of men.

The point is there is nothing wrong with you when this happens whether it's your 1st or 101st.

But it sure does feel terrible. Really really terrible. Like your not a man.

It is purely mental. It comes from wanting something so much and then realising if this single thing fails, you can't have it. You expect the worst and it happens. Self fuffilling fear.

But when your not concentrating on it, it doesn't happen. So the key is to clear your mind be in the moment and just enjoy what you are doing.