I am feeling constantly insecure and Defensive about myself lately as not much is working out for me. Ive struggled to maintain friends and fit into a social circle. Now im spending alot of time angry and Defensive of people, feeling especially paranoid people might try take advantage of me or laugh at me. This leaves me acting very cold and sometimes making jokes that might come across as more unfriendly than jokes.. how can I get out of this behavior.. Ive tried telling myself just have a "Im gonna get along with everyone, and be plesent and nice to everyone" but dont because I worry thats counter productive and im afraid of coming across as a nice guy, or falling back into those traits.

What can I do to be more welcoming and friendly, without looking like a nice guy or someone trying to hard, or someone people will try take advantage of