I am really struggling to take care of myself. I have struggled with lifelong depression due to my family dynamics and how I disassociated from everyday life to cope. I struggle with cannabis addiction, and I dropped out of college because of it. Over time, I've burnt the friendships I had growing up by doing weird, uncool shit.

I find it virtually impossible to get out of bed early enough to get a productive start on my day, and once I get back from my shitty job, I sit or lie down and watch YouTube or Netflix because anything more is too much damn effort. I delay important tasks or payments because fuck my life, so it won't make a difference in my mind.

I really need support. My family offers no growth-oriented support, as they are generally weak in character. I do not believe I will ever be able to realize my potential, a potential I know I have. I have had stints of working out consistently, but I never hit the other important bases, and I always burn out because I'm a frazzled mess with no support system.

I know I need to talk to a psychologist, but I'm burnt out on them as I have tried five, and all of them were intellectually infected with self-esteem dogma while not helping me shape better habits.

How do I find people to support me that I can trust?

What can I do on my own in lieu of proper support?

P.S. Anyone who reads this and is willing to offer support is welcome to message me. While this post is more oriented toward me empowering myself, I would appreciate help.