Basics:

In an LTR, very clearly want to get married and have kids. Were talking about the church, reception, etc. Obviously very serious and thoroughly vetted.

Generally shes not one to give shittests or challenge my authority at all. The few times she has was very early on and i crushed them.

Any sort of large purchase or other big decision she makes, even just for herself, is at least run by me and essentially requires my approval. I have never dictated this, she just simply does that. Very much the first mate to my captain.

Shes very willing to sacrifice a lot to prove herself to me(flew internationally multiple times to see me when i was away for work) and for the sake of the relationship. When were separated we talk daily, usually any time we are not explicitly not supposed to be on our phones.

Only red flags ive really seen are that a few times shes demonstrated a bit of materialistic attitudes, but much less so than most women. Cant really escape that one.

We do not live together, but that is what my situation is related to:

Originally, we were not going to live together at all until we were married. Once the idea was brought up she got awkward with the idea of living together (parents are strict catholic and made it clear she was not to live with anyone until marriage) because she thought i was trying to do that. I made it clear i wasnt and she was back to normal.

For a while, i have essentially been staying with her for a few weeks to a month and she regularly sleeps over when we are both in our home town. Meanwhile, she has repeatedly wanted me to get a place near her and when i made it clear i would visit her regularly, but not get a place because it was cost prohibitive to do so. She knew that made sense and said she “just wants me close by”.

A few months ago, she had a discussion with her mother (the main force behind the no cohabitation before marriage) who apparently approves of me so much she has openly changed her mind about the situation. My LTR was shocked at this and told me about it immediately. Fast forward to about a month or so ago and she brought up the idea of me moving in with her. After thinking about it a bit I was still against it. She was disappointed but in a sort of doe eyed way. She would then fantasize about it “yknow it would be sooo nice if we lived together” and i would say i know, but we both know why we cant do that. She would agree and the whole tone was very akin to a “wouldnt it be funny if we did X? Haha just kidding... unless...?” This would happen on and off every few days for a few weeks.

Recently, some circumstances changed and it would be economically equivalent to live on my own or with her. I brought up the idea and she immediately became awkward again. I asked her what was up since she was so gungho about it before. She said she had gone back and forth on the idea (as had her mother, as it was more of a “i guess i cant expect you to live by these rules” rather than “you should move in with OP”) and wasnt sure. Later that night she brought it up again and i said that if she isnt sure then ill make the decision not to do it. In between and after those instances we were having a good time and it caused no consternation. Indeed she was showing me off to people she knew at the event we were going to.

My question is: was this a comfort/shit test all along and she was getting off on the idea of us moving in (and me telling her no) and when i suggested it i failed, most likely by entering her frame, and if so did i recover or must i do something else? Or, is this a legitimate thing for her to simply be apprehensive of due to her family and neither of us having really lived with anyone else before?

Im not worried this has done serious damage, but i figure it could be a misstep and that there is always more to learn, so might as well ask.