To follow on from my last post, i accept I gotta move on, stop being a pussy and gag it's not the end of the world.

However, I cant get over the embarassment, it's like I have a huge BETA written on my forehead, like everyone thinks I'm a clown who was used and now she's swelling cum from other men while i languish.

I know its stupid and I'm being a pussy, the aim of this post is how to lose this

I asked my friend what to do and he said 'you just have no self esteem and you clearly dont love yourself' to which I realised he was right, I get anxious over people seeing me as weak.

I remember when I was a beta apologising for saying nasty shit to my ex, i said i felt humiliated and she had the gall to laugh and call it ridiculous. I truly was the biggest floor licker alive, I dont need affirmation.

My ultimate question is: how do I gain self esteem and slay this demon?

Additional backstory: after we broke up I spent 3 days hurling messages at her about how disrespected I was and how terribly she treated me (none of it was a lie), I know I failed and my frame was a bunch of splinters on the floor.